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Originally Posted by Dr. G  I couldn't agree with you more. Its something we apparently don't like to talk about, but I have seen it over and over again for 40 + years. It starts as early as 3rd and 4th grade. We have bought into the notion of white supremacy so much that we even equate being smart with being white (which automatically by default equates Black with being stupid)! We have also collectively bought into the rediculeous idea that girls are supposed to be smart but boys are supposed to be dumb. Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu wrote a book on the subject entitled "To be Popular or Smart" As I said, it starts in 3rd or 4th grade when the boys begin to notice that the display of intelligence, a desire to learn, and taking schoolwork seroiusly is looked down upon by the dumb boys in class as well as almost all of the girls. The more of a class clown and asshole the boys act the more attention they get from the girls, the more intelligence they display, the more they are rejected, teased and low rated. This continues to a point where the smarter boys begin to downplay their intelligence and trade it for popularity. Yeah I said it, the bad boy syndrom in women starts in 3rd grade and sadley continues through life in too many cases.
The smart young man can't get no parts of play. He continues to be rejected until his mid to late twenty's at which time he now has the material where-with-all to be considered "eligible". The same women who have been rejecting him for "slick" all of his life, start to pretend they are interested because "slick" at this time never went to college, has multiple felony convictions, can't get a decent job, is strung out on drugs, etc., while the "nerd" is in a lot better shape to be a responsible husband/father. Outside of talking shit and laying pipe, slick is virtually useless, but because he does what he does so well, Ms. Sponge will still be trying to get with him, often even after she is married. Its a sad state of affairs. |
A wonderful contribution to this topic. It really does start very early. At a very young age you begin to consciously or subconsciously observe the way in which the opposite sex responds to certain behaviors and often the behaviors and the responses are so rigid that they stick with those people most or all of their lives. It's exactly like any other social class in which a person may, with some singular success advance to a higher class, or for some singular reason be demoted, but most people never move up or down, they just stay where they've always been. All of the boys who were the so-called Alpha Males in Kindergarten were the Alpha Males in the twelfth grade! Simply amazing.
I wasn't picked on as much as some guys because I had popular friends and some popular relatives who took me under their umbrellas but at the same time my status was never really elevated just because of my affiliations - I was just some guy who was cool with 'cool' people. Still, my situation was not some socially helpless Steve Urkel story and I'm not making it out to be that. I did make a lot of good friends, many of whom I am still friends with today and at the very worst people were indifferent towards me. I was still however a bit puzzled because I consider myself a pretty handsome guy, I've never been fat or out of shape, and I've always been a nice dresser. I figured it out though when I had more than one black girl tell me that I should be loud, and that black people are supposed to be loud. Then I thought to myself : Damn, despite all of my other positive characteristics, I'm being overlooked because I don't have that one measly ingredient (obnoxiousness)!
And it's not so much about being popular as it is having a healthy relationship with women of your race who respect you on an intellectual level.