it's not an odd request and its commendable that you were encouraged to ask that at least one part of the tradition remain, which is that an elder assist you in the process.
while others would disagree i would strongly discourage you from having the assistance of someone that you have not met face to face. it is true, there are many wonderful names, and with a little time an elder (via the net) could help you with this.
but the process would be skewed in my opinion in a way that isnt needed. here are some alternatives;
- ask an elder in your family to help you pick one.
- choose two to three names, and ask an elder in your family to choose the name they like best by meaning, not sound
- find a traditional priest in your city and ask for a divination reading that will ascertain some sense of your actual destiny, as defined by God, not man, and have a name that corresponds with this destiny.
- go to a bookstore, hang out for a while, try to befriend elders that come in. find one that is knowledgeable and universally respected by all patrons. ask them to help you pick a name.
- pick two names, pray on both, pour libation to your ancestors, wait a few days and pick the first that strikes itself. do not go back and change your mind. look for names that suit who you feel you must become, or that will inspire you to get rid of a bad habit or become a better person according to your life experience to date.
what in my opinion you should not do:
- allow someone in your own age grade to help name you. this is a very european neo-afrikan thing to do. and its plain idiotic. trust an elder or trust yourself.
- allow someone that has not spent anytime with you IN PERSON and/or possesses no form of afrikan divination (and authorization to use it) to choose a name on your behalf.
- take a name or allow the help of someone that is more resigned to change your mind than to encourage you. (that is, we know our westernized elders may not like it, but if they can bear it with some respect they can help, but if you know in their hearts that they are thinking "sinner" or what-not, move on to the next elder w/o apologizing.
- let someone that cannot explain the importance of afrikan names help name you. many want the names without the tradition, protocol or reverence. they are europeans in black face. let them play with someone else's spiritual person, not yours.
remember:
- names are sacred. they are something to aspire to, not opportunities to feel mighty
- names are not given haphazardly.
- names are not given in a rush. (if you do it alone, i say give yourself at least one - two months to get down to two and make a choice.)
- arabic names are not afrikan names. be sure about what you want, and why you want it. are you looking for YOUR legacy or just another other than the white man's.
- afrikans add and "rest" names all the time. we even have names that are private to ourselves, or our teachers or our families. in any case this may not be the first, or the last. choose it wisely, reflect on it WEEKLY, and know when its time to add, rest or subtract. (ask for guidance from an accomplished elder if this makes no sense)
some good name sites:
www.rootsandrooted.org/names.htm