Exclusive Black Dating your views

[Nia Maishani]

Very interesting thoughts on mothers acting in father roles and thus manchildren not being able to appreciate their femaleness. Hmmm.

As for myself, I've had and have a very peculiar standing within black culture and among black males in terms of how I am viewed. I am what I consider brown-skinned, but some folk insist I am light skinned (they're usually dark skinned) and others think I am dark skinned (they're light skinned). So I've felt the sting of both discrimination and preferential treatment from black males. I hate it both ways.

[ThoughtfulGirl]

Originally Posted by Nia Maishani

Very interesting thoughts on mothers acting in father roles and thus manchildren not being able to appreciate their femaleness. Hmmm.

As for myself, I've had and have a very peculiar standing within black culture and among black males in terms of how I am viewed. I am what I consider brown-skinned, but some folk insist I am light skinned (they're usually dark skinned) and others think I am dark skinned (they're light skinned). So I've felt the sting of both discrimination and preferential treatment from black males. I hate it both ways.

@Nia Maishani
I know exactly what you mean as to how your viewed and sontimes discriminated againgst by your own. You know lighter brown side i guess and I never been able to figure it out whats up with peoples thought process. Dark skinned people tellin you you light skinned and light skinned saying your dark and they just be tripping. Because I don't get the fixation on a few different shades.

Originally Posted by Kwilu

Sad, but true sista Nia Maishani!! Black girls learn abandonment very early also because they watch mommy who get used to be abused and abandoned by black men and think that it's normal. Black boys also grow up with these black mothers who are also in the role of fathers, hence (I think) the inability of black men to appreciate the femaleness of black women . So here you may have the origin of this lack of esteem building for young black men and women .

@ Kwilu

Do you think male abondoment and mother raising male children alone reinforces the black male abondong the black female??

[Kwilu]

Originally Posted by ThoughtfulGirl

@ Kwilu

Do you think male abondoment and mother raising male children alone reinforces the black male abondong the black female??

Yes, it seems it's our fault black men have this disloyal attitude . I personally know some black women who reject, or make fun, of black men. Black women are like: " you don’t love me/like me, desire me, respect me, or think I'm beautiful.. you are ashamed of me, enable or/unwilling to protect yourself and family." It’s either black women have given up on finding decent brothers because they have been mistreated one time too many, or it's black women who learn that black women better take care of themselves because they're on their own.. The absence of the black father in many homes has led to some terrible realities. Too many times the black boys watch their mothers get used, and or abused, and learn that this is the way a man is supposed to act with a black woman. They re-enact that as adults. So therein lies that vicious cycle. The black boys grow up not knowing what a black man is supposed to be to his black family.. So, again. I’ve observed that too often a black man with a black woman is a "baby daddy". A black man with a white woman is a husband. I am so tired of brothers acting with such hostility towards black women. Examples: 98% of ball players (that includes other celebrities) are fathers of mixed babies all over with SO MANY non-black women ! Black men are more likely to have white than black women as partners. Go to CALI and tell me what you see?? All this interracial dating, sexing, and marrying is connected to SELF HATRED!!!

Consider also that this vicious cycle has been here since the slavery experience that bred out the desire for black men and women to want to be separated. Because if you recall slave history, black 'relationships' were simply to produce the master more slaves. A black 'couple' could be together for a while, but could just as easily be sold up and down the river in the blink of an eye. Black men were denied a livelihood to take care of themselves and theirs, and these days the record number of black males incarcerated in 2006 is nothing to be proud of. But white men are being able to take the pick of black women (those agreeable) for sexual conquest.. If statistics are valid, I would say that they only enhance my point. What kind of testimony is it to black men that black women have the lowest marriage rates of all races ?


As for the 'brown' skinned black women, from my standpoint I see if you are 'full black' with flat nose, thick lips and kinky hair many people won't make a mistake to call you a "beautiful black woman." You have to be mixed. However, you have to understand my speech because I LOVE ALL BLACK PEOPLES VERY MUCH. It’s not that dark-skinned blacks are better than blacks of light-skin or mixed people. We should all blame these horrible outcomes from colonization. It starts from the root !

Kwilu.

[Chinyre]

Black men are more likely to have white than black women as partners. Go to CALI and tell me what you see?? All this interracial dating, sexing, and marrying is connected to SELF HATRED!!!

YOu aint never lied about Cali LOL i breathe a sigh of relief whenever i see a young black couple nowadays. Nowadays over here it seems all the black couples i see are middle aged or elderly.

Whats the solution to all this madness...???

Black people seem to just want to get lost in the void and lose themselves rather than feel the pain of knowing and owning their blackness. This scares me because family is the nucleus of nationhood. NO black family=no Black
Nation.

[Nia Maishani]

Originally Posted by RBG

I prefer Black women, but I'll settle for Latino/Asian too.


(but no Yt, ever)

Hmmm. RBG, what do you mean by Latino? What do you mean by Asian? Asia is an awfully big place.

And to each his own. ...

[Nia Maishani]

..........

[OnMyWaveLength]

Originally Posted by Chinyre

YOu aint never lied about Cali LOL i breathe a sigh of relief whenever i see a young black couple nowadays. Nowadays over here it seems all the black couples i see are middle aged or elderly.

Well in the UK there is tremendous pressure to have a white partner. I rarely saw "all black" couples. It started I would say a couple of decades ago with increasing numbers of black men going with white women and now not surprisingly the black women are following suit in large numbers, especially in the last ten years or so. My theory is that in about 100 years the UK will be white again as the black population (currently only about 2%) will be assimilated. (When a mixed race person has a child with a white person the children tend to look white).

[Nesayem]

Hmm well, I'm from Cali the Bay Area to be exact, so when I see someone identifying themselves with a rainbow picture...I get the feeling that they are homosexual. So homosexuality is your motto?

[MidWestGirl]

I think sistas should stop expecting to end up with a black man and widen the pool...Now me being happily married to a good, hard working brother that treats me like a queen, those words may be a hell of a lot easier to say for a woman in my shoes; but I really would feel that way if I were single..... Wanting someboby that looks like you is normal and there is nothing wrong with that, but I honestly believe that happiness can be found in other places. Why not date a white guy or a Latin guy, you might just find your soul mate and fall in love. I hear what many of you are saying about how black men/ boys have very distorted outlooks about beauty and the black woman, but we are just as much to blame for that as well!!!!! I have heard more black women use the phrase "good hair" than I have black men.. And some of us are more "color struck" than our men.... The only problem I have with interracial dating/marriage is when Some blacks assume that another race is superior.... I also hate when some black men list 1-20 reasons why they don't like sistas; WTF, just say you like white women, that I can live with..thats a preference. I prefer dark skinned black men with broad shoulders and are over six feet tall .. Do not go through life alone cause you're hung up on skin color, mingle a little, brothers certainly are!!!!

[OnMyWaveLength]

Originally Posted by MidWestGirl

I think sistas should stop expecting to end up with a black man and widen the pool...Now me being happily married to a good, hard working brother that treats me like a queen, those words may be a hell of a lot easier to say for a woman in my shoes; but I really would feel that way if I were single..... Wanting someboby that looks like you is normal and there is nothing wrong with that, but I honestly believe that happiness can be found in other places. Why not date a white guy or a Latin guy, you might just find your soul mate and fall in love. I hear what many of you are saying about how black men/ boys have very distorted outlooks about beauty and the black woman, but we are just as much to blame for that as well!!!!! I have heard more black women use the phrase "good hair" than I have black men.. And some of us are more "color struck" than our men.... The only problem I have with interracial dating/marriage is when Some blacks assume that another race is superior.... I also hate when some black men list 1-20 reasons why they don't like sistas; WTF, just say you like white women, that I can live with..thats a preference. I prefer dark skinned black men with broad shoulders and are over six feet tall .. Do not go through life alone cause you're hung up on skin color, mingle a little, brothers certainly are!!!!

I think you've made some good points - interracial dating might be the answer to some black women in areas/ countries where the black men clearly prefer white women and there is a shortage of black men. But I would always say that it's in ones best interests if at all possible to date another black person. Personally I am at the point now where I would only consider black men although the irony is that it would be so much easier for me to find a non sexist white man who was my intellectual equal. However, I know it wouldn't work for me for all kinds of reasons.

[Kwilu]

Originally Posted by MidWestGirl

I think sistas should stop expecting to end up with a black man and widen the pool...

Originally Posted by OnMyWaveLength

I think you've made some good points - interracial dating might be the answer to some black women in areas/ countries where the black men clearly prefer white women and there is a shortage of black men. But I would always say that it's in ones best interests if at all possible to date another black person. Personally I am at the point now where I would only consider black men although the irony is that it would be so much easier for me to find a non sexist white man who was my intellectual equal. However, I know it wouldn't work for me for all kinds of reasons.

MARRYING A WHITE MAN? NEVER THAT, HE HAS TO BE BLACK!!

I WOULD NEVER BE IN ANY MIXED RELATIONSHIP. YOU CANNOT LOVE YOUR PEOPLE, BE A BLACK AFRICAN NATIONALIST, AND BE IN AN INTEGRATIONIST RELATIONSHIP!!

THE SYSTEM OF WHITE SUPREMACY IS STILL ALIVE AND UP MAINTAINING ITS STATUS QUO, GIVING WHITES HEAVEN AND GIVING BLACKS HELL. YOU BOTH THINK ABOUT IT!!!

MY SOUL WOULD NEVER ALLOW ME TO MARRY A WHITE, EVEN A RED OR YELLOW MAN.

Kwilu.

[RBG]

Originally Posted by Nia Maishani

Hmmm. RBG, what do you mean by Latino? What do you mean by Asian? Asia is an awfully big place.

And to each his own. ...

Latino includes all women from south/central america, NOT SPAIN!!!

and when I say Asian, I mean Filipino, not really the others.

But AFRIKAN is the number one priority, I just don't mind these girls as well.

[Escobar]

dont mind....

thats a nice way to put...

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by OnMyWaveLength

I think you've made some good points - interracial dating might be the answer to some black women in areas/ countries where the black men clearly prefer white women and there is a shortage of black men. But I would always say that it's in ones best interests if at all possible to date another black person. Personally I am at the point now where I would only consider black men although the irony is that it would be so much easier for me to find a non sexist white man who was my intellectual equal. However, I know it wouldn't work for me for all kinds of reasons.

Im sorry sista, but is you crazy! That is most definitely oxymoronic. You seem to have some real hard bent issues with black men being sexist, but how in the world are you figuring that crackkka men aren't? They invented sexism!

[Kwilu]

Originally Posted by Sierra

Im sorry sista, but is you crazy! That is most definitely oxymoronic. You seem to have some real hard bent issues with black men being sexist, but how in the world are you figuring that crackkka men aren't? They invented sexism!

YOU TELL HER SISTA SIERRA ! !!

Whites are crazy and blacks too—but it’s not the fault of blacks.
I personally don't care how sympathetic whites are to black struggle, no matter how much they march with us, protest with us, give us 6 figure salary jobs, etc, they know not our struggle. They know not our pain, as do my African family who lives it and feels it everyday of life, and I am an advocate of them not being put into our category, they are a disease. We are trying to heal ourselves from all the hate that has been used to get us down for centuries...SO AS FOR MARRYING A WHITE, EVEN A RED, OR YELLOW MAN I REFUSE. NEVER THAT!

INTERRACIAL MARRIAGES IS DISTRACTIONS TO THE REVOLUTION, THAT WHAT I CALL IT!

Kwilu.