"Can Black Women Raise Black Boys to Be Black Men?"

[Goddess IsIs Akkebala]

Local Black Newspaper Continues to Stir Community-Wide Dialogue By Asking the Question "Can Black Women Raise Black Boys to Be Black Men?"

Springfield, IL (BlackNews.com) - The Capital City Courier (CCC), a local black newspaper, has done it again! Following up on their nationally acclaimed cover story entitled "Why Can't Blacks Work Together", the CCC continues to create a buzz throughout its central Illinois circulation area with its latest question "Can Black Women Raise Black Boys To Be Black Men?" The article, which includes interviews with single mothers, has once again brought to the surface a simmering debate within the black community. This time the issue is related to the alarmingly high proportion of single, female headed households and the inevitable challenge presented in raising boys in particular. Also weighing in on the discussion regarding this perplexing issue is noted author and lecturer, Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu.

"I simply want to continue to put into print what is being expressed and discussed by blacks almost everyday throughout our community," stated Michael Pittman, the editor-in-chief of the Capital City Courier. "I will continue to believe that if we are going to see real progress on the issues that concern our black community, we must become more comfortable raising the issues that sometimes make us uncomfortable," he continued.

"Some have accused us of somehow overlooking the tremendous sacrifices and wonderful commitment of single mothers by asking this question," Pittman stated. "Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, we salute the women that are raising their sons by themselves but also recognize that they need the help of the entire village to have the greatest opportunity to be successful," he continued.

Pittman once again expressed his desire to see meaningful solutions, strategies and commitments by blacks from every segment of the community emerge from dialogue that has resulted due to the article. "In fact, I can only hope this article spurs similar responses across America much like the first one," Pittman concluded.

For additional information on the Captial City Courier or the "Can Black Women Raise Black Boys To Be Black Men?" article, contact Michael Pittman at (217) 528-2998 or visit the CCC's website at www.capitalcitycourier.org


CONTACT:
Michael Pittman
mpittman@ameritech.net
217-528-2998

[BlackQueen]

Yes...because if their fathers aren't there,who will raise them?

[Mamazen]

Originally Posted by BlackQueen7980

Yes...because if their fathers aren't there,who will raise them?

I think the meaning that has to be discussed is how are they supposed to reach "manhood" without a "man" to direct them.

What I have found as I raise 2 boys (one who enters adolesence next month) is that the older they get, the more that they do need their fathers. There is only so much that I can teach once the hormones start raging through their veins. There is a visible disconnect with our sons and society at large.

Who would be a better teacher than our own men? I cannot tell my son what it is like to be a black man in this society or how to face life as a black man. in society. I cannot relate to what he may be feeling, I can only empathize with him. His father can relate, and has been there, done that. If he is not there, then we need other "successfull" black men as mentors for them. But, as more of our black men in the community get railroaded by society at large, where else do we turn?

I think that is the question that truely needs to be addressed......

[manifestdestiny]

If the sista stays receptive to the male role models surrounding her cifer, define the needed characteristics that refine a man she can raise a King. However, take note of the word REFINE, men must be given the tools to change and evolve. Raising a strong swimmer or a fast runner is not enough. You have to instill the wisdom of what to do when he is drowning or what to do when his legs can run no longer . If a sista masters this she can raise any boy to become a man

[Isis]

No. Too much time spent discussing this matter is giving leeway for Black women to lean in that direction.

My answer is "HELL NO"

------------------------------

Here's a question: Can Black men singlehandedly raise young Black girls to become successful, respectable ladies?

[intuitivetena]

No! because it take a village to raise a child, the knowledge and understanding that one needs must come from all walks of life not just your own.

[niayaa]

I have 3 young kings. There is a difference in my older son who does not have a relationship with his father, he lacks confidence, lower self esteem, and more. I have raised him to know truth, culture, afrikan spirituality,and yet nothing I do can take the place of having the attention and love of a man. I have looked to the conscious community and family I am still looking for help raising this brother.
Them brothers need a man around to raise them and help them be balanced.

Hotep

www.niadesigns.etsy.com

[josteele]

Aint no way in hell a woman is gone teach a boy how to be a man when the woman herself dont know how to be a man. Everybody got they ideas but ONLY a man know how to be a man! I was raised by a woman and learned how to be a man from the streetz. My idea of life was f**ked to say the least, until....

To answer the question: Nope!!!!!

[Kweku_Omowale]

sometimes... we are from the inside looking out and sometimes people are from the outside looking in,i was raised by grandmother,people and here i am standing tall like the baob tree she raised two generations,i also know people who raised their sons and they have turned out strong individuals,can a man raise strong ebonite afrikan womyns, my answer to this quizzing is yes i also know men that raises their kids by themselves,it all depends on the individuals,we have to refrain sometimes,
of making generalized assumptions,because each case is different and we can not paint everybody witha big wide brush,we will be worse than of those
that we condemn,dont yall think dat

[S-1]

Yes they can my mom did. She raised my brotha and I to be strong Afrikan men. A mother is a childs first teacher. Mothers have raised men and have lead nations for centuries.
Black Power

[Moorish Rebel]

Okay, some of the response on here are utterly anti-African and anti-family. Sure there has been many cases in the community where the woman raised a boy who grew up to be a pretty decent man but that was because she was forced to and that job is not easy. A boy need his father. No woman should not have to bear the responsibility of raising a child all by her self nor should she be the one to teach a boy how to be a man. This should be the responsibility of the father. It takes a man and a woman to properly raise a child. This is a major problem with us as a people today. There is no balance, a child (boy or girl) need both the masculine and feminine attention/love to properly develop as a person. If nuturing only comes from one side than that is an imbalance which is the present state we are in as a people. Much of the problems with young African males is due to the absence of a father in the house hold. We really need to get over this line of thinking that it's okay for a woman to raise children all by herself because it's not. Like Farrakhan once said "Without family, we don't have a strong community".

And Kweku, with all due respect. There is no way, I could raise my daughter to be a woman the way a Black woman can. I could raise her the best to my ability of how to be a decent woman but as a man I could never fully relate to my daughter as a woman. I wont be able to fully relate when she starts experiencing changes with her body, her first period etc etc. Only a woman, her mother could fully overstand and relate to her. Just because there has been instances where the single parent has successfully raised a child on her/his own doesn't mean this should be accepted as the norm nor should it be celebrated. We need to be promoting the concept of "Family". Restoring the order of BALANCE within our house holds.

[AzaniaSpeaks]

Originally Posted by S-1

Yes they can. . . . . Mothers have raised men and have lead nations for centuries. Black Power

Originally Posted by Moorish Rebel

. . . This is a major problem with us as a people today. There is no balance, a child (boy or girl) need both the masculine and feminine attention/love to properly develop as a person.. . .

Greetings! ImHotep!

This is definitely a yes AND yes answer to the question, "Can Black Women Raise Black Boys To Be Black Men?" for this has been the case on these shores since we came here. . . . . Is this the optimum for Nation Building, Balance & Harmony, No! It is a start -- for w/o the sacrifice, determination, clarity & focus that the majority of Black mothers have put into raising their sons [myself included] there would be no Black Men of any merit in order to pick up the gauntlet to reverse this madness!

As we of this tribe of Afuraikaitnut/Afurakanu here in the so-called western hemisphere clarify, define, outline & institute the roles, duties, responsiblities of adulthood -- Manhood AND Wombanhood -- while instilling/inititiating these values via rites of passage AND daily lifestyles in our communities THEN we will have a healthy pool of young sholars, scientists, leader/servants, etc. AND most importantly, Parents in our future generations.

Our young can only build upon that which we provide and bequeath to them. . . I'm all for putting my limitations to the side and discovering/learning how to build solid Male/Female relationships so that single parenting doesn't exist: for these instances where either gender of us are forced to rear our children in a single-parent household only aids and abets our destruction!

So.. . . . as I am fond of saying, once again, it is obvious that the pursuit of BALANCE and the PRINCIPLES OF MAAT will be the determining factors in our Resurrection. . . . .

Power & Protection Is Within You. . .. along with my Love!

[josteele]

I belive that boys who dont have fathers look toward other men for guidance. Maybe not by going up and sayin 'how can I be a man?'. But by watching the things that these men do and dont do, and the outcome of these actions. A mother may have alot to teach a boy, but can NEVER teach the lesson about how to be a man. This method may not be used by the majority of fatherless children, but I know of at least one. Which makes this a fact.

[AzaniaSpeaks]

Originally Posted by josteele

I belive that boys who dont have fathers look toward other men for guidance. Maybe not by going up and sayin 'how can I be a man?'. But by watching the things that these men do and dont do, and the outcome of these actions. A mother may have alot to teach a boy, but can NEVER teach the lesson about how to be a man. This method may not be used by the majority of fatherless children, but I know of at least one. Which makes this a fact.

Greetings! ImHotep!

Asante sana for sharing!

I think the question is "CAN Black Women Raise . . ." to which the answer is YES. As for women being able to Teach or Show boys how to be Men the answer is NO. Our Greater Need is to Divine, Define and Defend the aspects of what is needed in regards to MANHOOD for us as a people, especially here in the usofa [where we were most brutally blasted apart from familial ties] and thru out the world.

When I divorced my childrens' father, my younger brothers that I grew up with were major male influences in their lives along with my stepfather -- who by the way is a SAINT/DIETY in his own Right -- while they were very small [ages 3 to 8]. After that when I began seriously dating I only dated men that were dedicated to their children if they had any, dedicated to my children's well being and to our relationship IN THAT ORDER! My son has become a good man, and at the age of 33, I can see how much more growth and balance he will need in order to reach his full potential.. . . We work on the same plantation and he lets EVERYONE know that he is what he is because of his mother! He supervises a staff of 7 [down from the 50 or so in his last occupation] and is well respected by his peers, managers and staff! He's even liked by most that meet/know him! Had is father kept the covenant, which was one of the reasons I married him, of placing the children in Black Independent schools AND of course parenting them regardless of how things worked/failed between us, my son would be on the World's Stage of Liberation right now! His talents, skills and inclinations were naturally aimed that way at an early age BUT his father's failure to Be the man he presented himself to be proved to damage my son AND my daughter as abandonment/rejection does to the young. . . .

While Mothers are not "perfect" in the literal sense of the word, most do their best by their children, sons included. It is the Man's responsiblity to be there for their children ESPECIALLY when divorce, incapcitation, incarceration, etc. removes them from the home [or when they were never married in the begin]. Faulting the present parent for not being able to provide what the absent parent SHOULD have done is easy -- been there/done that when I was growing up. Yet that doesn't heal the wound nor make the absence any better.

Learning to parent yourself AND bring yourself to viable adulthood is the responsiblity of each of us in order to bring healing to our nation. When one is no longer a child then it becomes imperative to learn to be the MAN/WOMBAN that they were born to be. Sounds like you have done just that!

Power & Protection Is Within You. . . along with my Love!

[josteele]

Originally Posted by AzaniaSpeaks

Greetings! ImHotep!

Asante sana for sharing!

I think the question is "CAN Black Women Raise . . ." to which the answer is YES. As for women being able to Teach or Show boys how to be Men the answer is NO. Our Greater Need is to Divine, Define and Defend the aspects of what is needed in regards to MANHOOD for us as a people, especially here in the usofa [where we were most brutally blasted apart from familial ties] and thru out the world.

When I divorced my childrens' father, my younger brothers that I grew up with were major male influences in their lives along with my stepfather -- who by the way is a SAINT/DIETY in his own Right -- while they were very small [ages 3 to 8]. After that when I began seriously dating I only dated men that were dedicated to their children if they had any, dedicated to my children's well being and to our relationship IN THAT ORDER! My son has become a good man, and at the age of 33, I can see how much more growth and balance he will need in order to reach his full potential.. . . We work on the same plantation and he lets EVERYONE know that he is what he is because of his mother! He supervises a staff of 7 [down from the 50 or so in his last occupation] and is well respected by his peers, managers and staff! He's even liked by most that meet/know him! Had is father kept the covenant, which was one of the reasons I married him, of placing the children in Black Independent schools AND of course parenting them regardless of how things worked/failed between us, my son would be on the World's Stage of Liberation right now! His talents, skills and inclinations were naturally aimed that way at an early age BUT his father's failure to Be the man he presented himself to be proved to damage my son AND my daughter as abandonment/rejection does to the young. . . .

While Mothers are not "perfect" in the literal sense of the word, most do their best by their children, sons included. It is the Man's responsiblity to be there for their children ESPECIALLY when divorce, incapcitation, incarceration, etc. removes them from the home [or when they were never married in the begin]. Faulting the present parent for not being able to provide what the absent parent SHOULD have done is easy -- been there/done that when I was growing up. Yet that doesn't heal the wound nor make the absence any better.

Learning to parent yourself AND bring yourself to viable adulthood is the responsiblity of each of us in order to bring healing to our nation. When one is no longer a child then it becomes imperative to learn to be the MAN/WOMBAN that they were born to be. Sounds like you have done just that!

Power & Protection Is Within You. . . along with my Love!

Thanks for the enlightment!...I know as well as you must, It Aint Easy.