My people! What would you do when you do if....

[w.i.s.e.]

you found your soul mate, but you are married to another person?

Let's say that you have been married for about 10 years. You love your partner dearly; your relationship is based on mutual admiration and respect. However, they still are not the perfect man or woman in your eyes. Circumstances threw you together, and you are not exactly super compatible. You feel much unhappiness with this person, although you still have feelings for them. You still hold on for the sake of the family.

Then, you happen to meet someone who has all the qualities you've ever dreamed of. They are conscious, strong, militant, wise, and sensual. You feel a spiritual, mental, and physical connection. You can't believe you've never met this person before until now. You develop instant feelings for this person because of that connection. And I mean, when you just think of this person, you start to smile because their spirit is that strong. You start to long for their presence. You feel as if you knew them in another life and now you found each other.

But you know that you can never take it further because you are still married.

Is it possible to still feel love for your wife/husband and still be in love this person with whom you have bonded with on so many levels? Or does it violate spiritual principles of the foundation of Afrikan families? Does it destroy more than it builds? Is it even possible to be "in love" with someone outside of marriage? Does marriage stop you from loving someone whom you've considered your soulmate? What does something like this say about the marriage to begin with?

This is a very deep situation that I have trouble with. Please take your time in responding.

Speak on it.

[tyydae]

Originally Posted by w.i.s.e.

you found your soul mate, but you are married to another person?

Let's say that you have been married for about 10 years. You love your partner dearly; your relationship is based on mutual admiration and respect. However, they still are not the perfect man or woman in your eyes. Circumstances threw you together, and you are not exactly super compatible. You feel much unhappiness with this person, although you still have feelings for them. You still hold on for the sake of the family.

Then, you happen to meet someone who has all the qualities you've ever dreamed of. They are conscious, strong, militant, wise, and sensual. You feel a spiritual, mental, and physical connection. You can't believe you've never met this person before until now. You develop instant feelings for this person because of that connection. And I mean, when you just think of this person, you start to smile because their spirit is that strong. You start to long for their presence. You feel as if you knew them in another life and now you found each other.

But you know that you can never take it further because you are still married.

Is it possible to still feel love for your wife/husband and still be in love this person with whom you have bonded with on so many levels? Or does it violate spiritual principles of the foundation of Afrikan families? Does it destroy more than it builds? Is it even possible to be "in love" with someone outside of marriage? Does marriage stop you from loving someone whom you've considered your soulmate? What does something like this say about the marriage to begin with?

This is a very deep situation that I have trouble with. Please take your time in responding.

Speak on it.

WISE,

I was once in your shoes. Are you familiar with Erykah Badu "Next Lifetime"?
I would like for you to find it listen to it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=leB7omDBgOU

I will let you know that you gave no indication of abuse or neglect. In my hearts of hearts, I get the feeling like you know it is not the right thing to
do.

It is possible to have great feelings for someone and be married to another. The feeling themselves are not wrong, if you violate your marrige you are wrong, but I do not have to tell you this.

I know you choose the name WISE=Sage for a reason.

I am sorry this is happening to you. I know how sticky it can be. As for me I made the wrong decision.

You think about it. The burden can be heavy.

What does this say about marriage? It says that marriage is a union between two indiviuals. SOme people are soul mates and others have to work hard. WHat this test says about you is even greater. This test will say a lot about you.

I wish you all the best,

Latasha M. Dale

[w.i.s.e.]

Originally Posted by tyydae

WISE,

I was once in your shoes. Are you familiar with Erykah Badu "Next Lifetime"?
I would like for you to find it listen to it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=leB7omDBgOU

I will let you know that you gave no indication of abuse or neglect. In my hearts of hearts, I get the feeling like you know it is not the right thing to
do.

It is possible to have great feelings for someone and be married to another. The feeling themselves are not wrong, if you violate your marrige you are wrong, but I do not have to tell you this.

I know you choose the name WISE=Sage for a reason.

I am sorry this is happening to you. I know how sticky it can be. As for me I made the wrong decision.

You think about it. The burden can be heavy.

What does this say about marriage? It says that marriage is a union between two indiviuals. SOme people are soul mates and others have to work hard. WHat this test says about you is even greater. This test will say a lot about you.

I wish you all the best,

Latasha M. Dale

Yes! I was just thinking about that song!

Actually, I was asking because the man was married. As much as I've tried to forget what happened, I can't stop thinking about the man. Not to where I'm lovesick, but reminiscent. He was the first man I really bonded with like that.

I've stopped being angry with him for what happened, but I can't wondering what would happen if we met somewhere in another life or if he wasn't married. I remember when I found out he was married and I exchanged angry words that I most likely should not have said. I simply thought he was using me for his personal gains because he was having problems. We never made love, but our interaction was to the point where sexual desire was a conscious thing on both of our minds. Although he told his wife that the relationship did not mean anything to him, he was telling me he missed me, how he didn't find many women who were like me. He did apologize that he hadn't told me and that he was married in the first place, but that when he met me, everything changed. He said he never meant for it to get as deep as it did, but that I had given him something. It seemed as if he did on some level care about me.

I still have feelings for him that I cannot explain. It's was just something very natural. I know that I should forget, but some people you just can't forget. I suppose that I am happy that I found a kindred spirit.

You have no idea how good it feels to let this out. Thank you so much for listening with a loving heart and understanding.

God bless you! Peace, sis!

[Im The Truth]

I hear an old wise intelligent woman say, "my man make not be the best and I could probably find someone better but he's with me and supports me so he's good enough for me." A good relationship has nothing to do with "soulmates" or lovey-dovey stuff.

[w.i.s.e.]

Originally Posted by Im The Truth

I hear an old wise intelligent woman say, "my man make not be the best and I could probably find someone better but he's with me and supports me so he's good enough for me." A good relationship has nothing to do with "soulmates" or lovey-dovey stuff.

I would think that soulmates doesn't imply that it is lovey dovey. It is someone whom you can relate to on a very, very deep level. Not saying that something isn't a good relationship, but your rapport with another person is even stronger than this.

[advanced]

Originally Posted by Im The Truth

I hear an old wise intelligent woman say, "my man make not be the best and I could probably find someone better but he's with me and supports me so he's good enough for me." A good relationship has nothing to do with "soulmates" or lovey-dovey stuff.

That is interesting as i have notice in African art that the male and female are always side by side and of the same size. the image is that of pillar a symbol of strength and stability. Afrikan marriages aren't about sex and good feelings (lovey-dovey) they are about strength and honor.