Why our sisters running our brothers away?

[Queen_Samiya]

I am curious to know my brothers and sisters, because one of the college did a survey on us, especially us sisters. We had been the most hated in our community, and I want to know why is it that some of our brothers doesn't like us anymore like they use to.

Why would brothers decided to go with someone outside of their own race. We got to stop the white supremacy that is taking the control us as black people!

I know right now, we are still sleeping because we don't realize that some of us as a race of people upon this planet is asleep!

I am hoping to hear your reply about this issue that we have.

Peace,
Queen Samiya

[rebelAfrika]

I am curious to know my brothers and sisters, because one of the college did a survey on us, especially us sisters. We had been the most hated in our community, and I want to know why is it that some of our brothers doesn't like us anymore like they use to.

Why would brothers decided to go with someone outside of their own race. We got to stop the white supremacy that is taking the control us as black people!

I know right now, we are still sleeping because we don't realize that some of us as a race of people upon this planet is asleep!

I am hoping to hear your reply about this issue that we have.

Peace,
Queen Samiya

I can't figure that one out myself. If anybody has any answers as to why a black man would leave all these beautiful black women out here and go for somebody else...let ME know!

[BlackQueen]

My sista,there are many questions that we can answer,and questions that never get the answer we want. In my opinion,we push our brothers away because we ask for more than they can give. We want the "perfect" brother. If you ever read the book "How to love a Black man",It tells that our men aren't what we fantasize. Our men are here in reality,and our problem is that we don't accept the fact that our men aren't handsome like Denzel,or intelligent like Dr.Ben Carson. We need our men to help us rebuild our fallen nation,to help us raise our children,and teach them to have love and pride for our people. Brothers go to the enemy with the idea that a white woman can understand them,and not be so demanding,when they should know that all they want is to get in bed with them. We need to tell our brothers that we love them and we need them. We need to uplift them,not degrade them.We need to let them know that they are not alone in the struggle. Black men are the only ones that can love us and protect us.

I am curious to know my brothers and sisters, because one of the college did a survey on us, especially us sisters. We had been the most hated in our community, and I want to know why is it that some of our brothers doesn't like us anymore like they use to.

Why would brothers decided to go with someone outside of their own race. We got to stop the white supremacy that is taking the control us as black people!

I know right now, we are still sleeping because we don't realize that some of us as a race of people upon this planet is asleep!

I am hoping to hear your reply about this issue that we have.

Peace,
Queen Samiya

[Nefertiti]

Well guys, my brotha's here, what is it? I can go on and on but yall can truly answer it...can you? I have my thoughts and observations like maybe brothers been sucked into Eurocentric view on what a black women suppose to be ... skin colour, hair,size, Or is that some of our sistah can be challenging and the black man is losing his strength, his power, and cannot deal with us, so they go to the opposite of a strong Blackwomban which will be a weak lusting give you anything you want white just "do me" women,... I know one thing, I'll never lower my standards I'm not Impossible at all to deal with, I demand respect and carry myself as A queen I am,I give respect and is willing to meet a brother half way, sometimes more than half I am old fashion with a modern twist

[Queen_Samiya]

My sista,there are many questions that we can answer,and questions that never get the answer we want. In my opinion,we push our brothers away because we ask for more than they can give. We want the "perfect" brother. If you ever read the book "How to love a Black man",It tells that our men aren't what we fantasize. Our men are here in reality,and our problem is that we don't accept the fact that our men aren't handsome like Denzel,or intelligent like Dr.Ben Carson. We need our men to help us rebuild our fallen nation,to help us raise our children,and teach them to have love and pride for our people. Brothers go to the enemy with the idea that a white woman can understand them,and not be so demanding,when they should know that all they want is to get in bed with them. We need to tell our brothers that we love them and we need them. We need to uplift them,not degrade them.We need to let them know that they are not alone in the struggle. Black men are the only ones that can love us and protect us.

My sister, it is a struggle. I do believe that it is true. We need to reach out to our brothers and let them know that we really care about them. It is really sad to see our men going with their enemies. We really do need each other to built a strong nation of people, and to unified.

[BlackQueen]

Great theory that unfortunately has become a tragic fact.

Well guys, my brotha's here, what is it? I can go on and on but yall can truly answer it...can you? I have my thoughts and observations like maybe brothers been sucked into Eurocentric view on what a black women suppose to be ... skin colour, hair,size, Or is that some of our sistah can be challenging and the black man is losing his strength, his power, and cannot deal with us, so they go to the opposite of a strong Blackwomban which will be a weak lusting give you anything you want white just "do me" women

[Sun Ship]

I am curious to know my brothers and sisters, because one of the college did a survey on us, especially us sisters. We had been the most hated in our community, and I want to know why is it that some of our brothers doesn't like us anymore like they use to.

Why would brothers decided to go with someone outside of their own race. We got to stop the white supremacy that is taking the control us as black people!

I know right now, we are still sleeping because we don't realize that some of us as a race of people upon this planet is asleep!

I am hoping to hear your reply about this issue that we have.

Peace,
Queen Samiya

I think when this thread takes off you will see in some of the answers you will receive, for we have very poor and stereotypical images of each other, and at some point unfortunately it becomes perpetual and cyclical like a snake swallowing it’s tail (which suppose to be positive but not in this case), or as the old folks use to say, “the pot calling the skillet black� (that saying alone tells you how sick we have been)

[Draptomania]

My sista,there are many questions that we can answer,and questions that never get the answer we want. In my opinion,we push our brothers away because we ask for more than they can give. We want the "perfect" brother. If you ever read the book "How to love a Black man",It tells that our men aren't what we fantasize. Our men are here in reality,and our problem is that we don't accept the fact that our men aren't handsome like Denzel,or intelligent like Dr.Ben Carson. We need our men to help us rebuild our fallen nation,to help us raise our children,and teach them to have love and pride for our people. Brothers go to the enemy with the idea that a white woman can understand them,and not be so demanding,when they should know that all they want is to get in bed with them. We need to tell our brothers that we love them and we need them. We need to uplift them,not degrade them.We need to let them know that they are not alone in the struggle. Black men are the only ones that can love us and protect us.

This is peace right here...I can only speak for what I have seen. From the time our brothers are children, they are told they are "bad" they will "fail"..SO many negative things are tossed in our King's paths...and many of the Sisters feed into it.

There are many brothers who aren't pro ball players or rappers or doctors and lawyers, but they are GOOD men. There are men that will work 3 jobs to support their family...they get overlooked. I know it is hard for ME, to go above and beyond in many aspects of my life to prove that I am not stupid...I cannot imagine the grief a Brother might get.


Our brothers need us more now than ever...look at how much shyt they have been through...without our men..we won't exist
I think encouragement and support from the sisters will help put an end to this trend. In the past I used to be like "So! Let him gone 'head with that white girl..." But now, I look at myself and ask "Are us Sisters doing anything to precipitate this?"

Personally, I am willing to stick it out through thick and thin and I expect no less from my King...Unless he is triflin and not even TRYING to do something with himself...things are cool.

I won't be a welcome mat, though.

Tell the next brother you see that you love him

[w.i.s.e.]

I am curious to know my brothers and sisters, because one of the college did a survey on us, especially us sisters. We had been the most hated in our community, and I want to know why is it that some of our brothers doesn't like us anymore like they use to.

Why would brothers decided to go with someone outside of their own race. We got to stop the white supremacy that is taking the control us as black people!

I know right now, we are still sleeping because we don't realize that some of us as a race of people upon this planet is asleep!

I am hoping to hear your reply about this issue that we have.

Peace,
Queen Samiya

Sisters have to stop blaming themselves for brothers who give up on Black women, for nothing is more self-hating nor damaging to healthy self-esteem; it is also believing falsehoods about ourselves that the status quo has repeated about us. We convince ourselves that there must be something wrong with us, something that is lacking as women, that we degrade Black men. It is an overstatement to say this because it makes it seem as if we are the oppressors to our own men and that we harbor hatred for them. This opinion might be unpopular, but it is not the fault of Black women when their own brother states that he's had enough. It is simply his issue and his issue alone that he must grapple with; he is also a brother that I wouldn't want anyway. Contrary to popular belief, brothers don't leave Black women because we aren't loving, understanding, or supportive enough for them. These are many Black men who simply do not want an equal. The most insulting and self hating comment that I received from a Black men on why he dated a white woman was, "That's because sisters are strong, but they are too strong. You have to let a man be a man." These were not the words of an adult, but the words of an insecure man who was trying to convince Black women that because of their strength, they needed to tone this down, in order to be considered attractive and to soothe a man's ego. This is the mentality of some Black men, not all, but a fair amount. They interpret strength as male castration, challenge as a female attempt at dominating them, and honesty as as destruction of the ego. You see, most Black men have adhered to the racist/sexist notion that whites have created that Black women castrate and dominate the Black men. The images that he might get about other races of women is that the are more docile, submissive, and willing to let him be a man. These same brothers who then feel that they will have better or more powerful relationships with another woman, just because she is a member of another race, ends up blowing up in his face and revealing to him the idiocy of his assumptions. It is not because sisters are not supportive. Now, I'm not saying that Black women are perfect. Far from it. Both genders have work to do. However, I don't worry about Black men who want to go over to another woman if he thinks that it will somehow be better than the one he can possible benefit from with a black woman. I damn sure won't try to think of ways that I can get him back, because I wouldn't think it was worth the energy to change a foolish mindset. All I can do is love and struggle with the brothers that I do have in my corner who have enough spirit and heart in this fight with me.

I'm looking for a King. I shall continue to do what I do.

[Kefentse_Bandele]

However, I don't worry about Black men who want to go over to another woman if he thinks that it will somehow be better than the one he can possible benefit from with a black woman. I damn sure won't try to think of ways that I can get him back, because I wouldn't think it was worth the energy to change a foolish mindset. All I can do is love and struggle with the brothers that I do have in my corner who have enough spirit and heart in this fight with me.

That's the bottom line.

Sista Samiya just consider this: "If he ain't about African liberation, then he about nothin."-Assata Shakur

However we cannot be blinded to the fact that a whooooole lot of "sistas" posses this mentality as well.

It's 2007 and this shit has been goin on for a very very long time. It's not a phenomenon.

Members of this forum are here to be examples and "keep it in the fam" as far as who we choose to be our mates!

"If she can't use yo comb, don't bring her home!!

[MsLioness]

Its not surprising that sisters are the most hated in the community, and perhaps the world.....we are(on the oppression scale), the most oppressed.
On some level, I can believe that Muslim black women are more liberated than Christian black women....not to dismiss other religions, but these are two major and competing religions. It has something to do with the praise to the state--the beginning of this country on Christianity>sexism>racism before racism(discrimination)--awkward European mindset and nature of destruction that, on some level again, promotes Eurocentricity.

I think if we could relieve ourselves of the Eurocentricity on all levels, there would not be so much hate going around. Perhaps, eliminating European rule over us could do the good needed to love one another without any confusion.

I feel as though we are not running each other away, but running from one another....in hopes to relieve ourselves of something that we just cannot pinpoint. Time for black people is never enough to promote the masses to focus on family life..while it is in our African nature to build in that such way. Its very conflicting to focus on the industrial world, in a system that is not created for you nor by you, while maintaining the family structure.

We have to be much more tolerate of one another, and once we realize that we are all we have, then we will have no choice but to learn toleration of one another, which will allow us to unify and focus on our problem and our enemy. God-willing, we will see pan-Africanism.

Forward.

To answer your question, on a personal level, I practice being tolerate in order to see what the brother is going to do once I do not leave him alone. Will he worsen? Will he reform? He normally will leave me. Whether I do the wrong or he does it.... I will not cut it off. For, he will either realize that he does not deserve me or I do not deserve him....and its a beautiful realization.

Forward.

[Elisa Keisha]

To answer your question, on a personal level, I practice being tolerate in order to see what the brother is going to do once I do not leave him alone. Will he worsen? Will he reform? He normally will leave me. Whether I do the wrong or he does it.... I will not cut it off. For, he will either realize that he does not deserve me or I do not deserve him....and its a beautiful realization.

Forward.

thats funny, u do that too? i find myself kind of "experimenting" in this way too.

[MsLioness]

thats funny, u do that too? i find myself kind of "experimenting" in this way too.

Yessss, sis...

In my mind, seriously; word-is-bond;no lie; all jokes aside...
I call it "experimenting" too!

lol

[Elisa Keisha]

Yessss, sis...

In my mind, seriously; word-is-bond;no lie; all jokes aside...
I call it "experimenting" too!

lol

hahaaha! my god... u realize how similar external and internal realities can be to us even oceans away?

[Mamazen]

......... Time for black people is never enough to promote the masses to focus on family life..while it is in our African nature to build in that such way. Its very conflicting to focus on the industrial world, in a system that is not created for you nor by you, while maintaining the family structure......

Which is why we need to start to step away if not outright disconnect from it as much as possible.

But I find that in doing so leaves one more isolated than ever relationship wise.