Would you rather be a working mother ,or stay at home mom?

[BlackQueen]

I would rather be a working mother,because I don't want my husband to feel that he has to bear the burden of being the breadwinner of the family. Also,as a working woman,I want my children to understand what it means to work hard,and make their own way in life.

[rebelAfrika]

I want a working woman because, lets be real, this is amerikkka and the odds are against African men.

I don't want a woman who would be "helpless" in the event that I was killed by the cops or killed by cancer or killed by some random ignorant n**** or if I ended up in prison for the rest of my life. I need the muthaf****** "black" Sarah Connor.

[tyydae]

I choose to stay at home with my children. Me and my husband both decided, that it was for the best for me to stay home, while he solely financially provided for our family.

Truth be told, this was not a discussion.

[Mamazen]

The burden of being the breadwinner of the family? The burden lies on the one who does nothing to contribute to the household, be it monetary or otherwise.

What a twist this society has done to us on this. The white woman's lib campaign has definitely done a number on us. Your statement definietly shows the contradiction between balance and conditioning in this society. Unfortunately...the conditioning is winning.

There was a time in which our men would gladly and it was automatically expected to be breadwinners since the balance is having a home to come home to to get way from winning all that bread. There are some men today that would accept no less... I do know some still exist today as a matter of fact.

The term working mother is an oxymoron. Being a mother in and of itself is work, and a very undervalued one in this society. Running a household is work. Making sure that the check or whatever monies that is brought home is stretched every which way but loose and still maintain is work.

I work from home running my own business. My sons are very well aware that what I do IS WORK. The sacrifice that was made was that our standard of living and income (according to the us government) dropped. However, the quality of life for my family dramatically increased.

When we start to define what is best for our families on truly what is deemed our terms and not by a model that has been ingrained into us by a society bent on our total destruction our children will intrinsically know what it is to make their own way in life....because they will have a model in which to compare against with what is being presented.

[tyydae]

Very well put Mamazen.

[Sun Ship]

Originally Posted by Mamazen

The burden of being the breadwinner of the family? The burden lies on the one who does nothing to contribute to the household, be it monetary or otherwise.

What a twist this society has done to us on this. The white woman's lib campaign has definitely done a number on us. Your statement definietly shows the contradiction between balance and conditioning in this society. Unfortunately...the conditioning is winning.

There was a time in which our men would gladly and it was automatically expected to be breadwinners since the balance is having a home to come home to to get way from winning all that bread. There are some men today that would accept no less... I do know some still exist today as a matter of fact.

The term working mother is an oxymoron. Being a mother in and of itself is work, and a very undervalued one in this society. Running a household is work. Making sure that the check or whatever monies that is brought home is stretched every which way but loose and still maintain is work.

I work from home running my own business. My sons are very well aware that what I do IS WORK. The sacrifice that was made was that our standard of living and income (according to the us government) dropped. However, the quality of life for my family dramatically increased.

When we start to define what is best for our families on truly what is deemed our terms and not by a model that has been ingrained into us by a society bent on our total destruction our children will intrinsically know what it is to make their own way in life....because they will have a model in which to compare against with what is being presented.

Now that’s the truth personified…love it…

Alluding to what Sister Mamazen said…a working mother has been at home for over 100,000 years until recently! And to some degree so was a working man, outside of hunting and pasturing his cattle.

In reading some literature years ago about women in matristic women-based societies, it was an eye opener to find out that women did a lot jobs and had skills that where later associated with solely men in some latter societies. As a matter of fact, men attempted to force women into a form of docility and domestication that was disconnected from actual commerce and self-sustainability as a power move, to further objectify women and make them highly dependent upon men or a patriarchal ruled society. In many indigenous cultures women did 90% of the work, and they sometimes viewed their men as being lazy…lol And this probably is why women worked and lived communally (within the larger family and community context).

As you see men taking over throughout history, communal living was destroyed, women were subjugated to merely menial task, and then they were again objectified and told they were being prized and given a privileged position in the home. What’s so asinine about this is that though women’s worth was reduced and they were separated from the actual “bread-winning� commercial trade in these societies, their workload wasn’t decreased as mothers and housekeepers!

I believe if a woman is not outside the home in the work force (of her own choosing), than her being at home should be just as profitable for her and her family, as it is a fact that women historically brought the much needed balance to the overall financial well-being of a home or community. This is how our children should learn to be independent and community-based at an early age, by watching their mothers collectively be a function part of their society, and immediate surroundings or environment.

How many times have you seen documentaries of indigenous women cooking, building, weaving, looming, milling, chopping, planting, and selling foods and goods in the market place with children in tow?

Look, women suppose to work, children are suppose to work, neither one of these wonderful parts of our reality are to be seen as trophies to be merely admired.

[BlackQueen]

If you read the statement more carefully...you would understand that what I meant is that I don't want my husband to feel any pressure of making the money while I stay home and take care of the house.I prefer to work because its OUR household,and we both have children to provide for.

Originally Posted by Mamazen

The burden of being the breadwinner of the family? The burden lies on the one who does nothing to contribute to the household, be it monetary or otherwise.

What a twist this society has done to us on this. The white woman's lib campaign has definitely done a number on us. Your statement definietly shows the contradiction between balance and conditioning in this society. Unfortunately...the conditioning is winning.

There was a time in which our men would gladly and it was automatically expected to be breadwinners since the balance is having a home to come home to to get way from winning all that bread. There are some men today that would accept no less... I do know some still exist today as a matter of fact.

The term working mother is an oxymoron. Being a mother in and of itself is work, and a very undervalued one in this society. Running a household is work. Making sure that the check or whatever monies that is brought home is stretched every which way but loose and still maintain is work.

I work from home running my own business. My sons are very well aware that what I do IS WORK. The sacrifice that was made was that our standard of living and income (according to the us government) dropped. However, the quality of life for my family dramatically increased.

When we start to define what is best for our families on truly what is deemed our terms and not by a model that has been ingrained into us by a society bent on our total destruction our children will intrinsically know what it is to make their own way in life....because they will have a model in which to compare against with what is being presented.

[Mamazen]

Like I stated...societal conditioning is responsible for the opinion that you are having. No man should be feeling pressure for what is expected and supposed to do....being a breadwinner.

There is nothing wrong with taking care of the home and children. Your contribution to the household in doing that would be more than sufficient. The fact that you feel that you must also work outside the home for an employer (rather than for yourself if it came down to necessity) in order to feel that you are truly contributing to the household only further proves that societal conditioning has been successful in further alienating you from what is best for you and your family and sustains the dysfunction and imbalance that happens when one stretches themselves too thin.

[BlackQueen]

Does it truly matter whether or not the mother makes money for herself or an employer? Either way,she's doing her part in providing for the family.

Originally Posted by Mamazen

Like I stated...societal conditioning is responsible for the opinion that you are having. No man should be feeling pressure for what is expected and supposed to do....being a breadwinner.

There is nothing wrong with taking care of the home and children. Your contribution to the household in doing that would be more than sufficient. The fact that you feel that you must also work outside the home for an employer (rather than for yourself if it came down to necessity) in order to feel that you are truly contributing to the household only further proves that societal conditioning has been successful in further alienating you from what is best for you and your family and sustains the dysfunction and imbalance that happens when one stretches themselves too thin.

[Mamazen]

Originally Posted by BlackQueen

Does it truly matter whether or not the mother makes money for herself or an employer? Either way,she's doing her part in providing for the family.

There is a difference. A huge one.

There are costs no matter what you decide.

You work for someone.....you are working under their auspices and on their terms. You may be financially providing for your family but it will come at a price that you really need to think about before paying.

[Fenix]

This is a tough question. One that I don't have an answer to, personally. I can say that I experienced both situations. My mother worked when I was younger but after a while, she and my father decided that it would be best if she were at home with me and then my little sister came along.

I can agree with Mamazen, by capitalistic standards, our "quality of life" i.e. household income dropped. But it definitely made our family stronger, happier, and more unified. It wasn't until my mother stopped working that our house became a home. And staying at home didn't make my mother any more dependent or helpless. As far as saving and managing money and resources, our family had never been better.

I guess it's all up to preferences. But I also believe that these days children need all the attention that they can get at home.