Is Being Married Important When It Comes to Having Children?

[BlackQueen]

The one statistic that we see everyday is young,single black women with one or more children. As a product of a single unwed mother,I saw my mom struggle to raise me and my older sister alone,and she did a great job! I also want to salute all the single moms on the forum! Y'all are holding things down!

[rebelAfrika]

Originally Posted by BlackQueen

Is Being Married Important When It Comes to Having Children?

I won't say that it's "important"...I'll just say that it's "good" (but obviously not necessary).

[BlackQueen]

In other words,it's optional.

Originally Posted by rebelAfrika

I won't say that it's "important"...I'll just say that it's "good" (but obviously not necessary).

[Shombay]

All children need the BALANCE of a MALE and a FEMALE;Mother and Father to Properly Nuture them for proper Growth and Develpment. This is Basic. Yes we have Strong Mothers that have been raising us, I had no Father but a Strong mother who raised me, but that doesnt mean it is right. We must stop lowering our standards of EXISTENCE. OUR FAMILY IS OUR STRENGTH.
We SHOULDNT bring Children into the World until we make a COMMITTMENT to OUR Mates.
THAT MUST COME FIRST.
That is the reason we have so the MOST BROKEN HOMES.Baby mommas, Baby Dadies. Because we have lost our Moral Structure and Values.
We dont take our Morals Serious so We dont take our family Serious. So in Reality We dont take our Children SERIOUS because it we did we would want to bring them into the most STABLE situation as Possible

AFRIKAN LOVE

[rebelAfrika]

Originally Posted by BlackQueen

In other words,it's optional.

In functionality...yes it's "optional." In practicality, I say it is "good" to be married when it comes to having children.

[BlackQueen]

That's the truth! We don't have any balance at all.

Originally Posted by Shombay

All children need the BALANCE of a MALE and a FEMALE;Mother and Father to Properly Nuture them for proper Growth and Develpment. This is Basic. Yes we have Strong Mothers that have been raising us, I had no Father but a Strong mother who raised me, but that doesnt mean it is right. We must stop lowering our standards of EXISTENCE. OUR FAMILY IS OUR STRENGTH.
We SHOULDNT bring Children into the World until we make a COMMITTMENT to OUR Mates.
THAT MUST COME FIRST.
That is the reason we have so the MOST BROKEN HOMES.Baby mommas, Baby Dadies. Because we have lost our Moral Structure and Values.
We dont take our Morals Serious so We dont take our family Serious. So in Reality We dont take our Children SERIOUS because it we did we would want to bring them into the most STABLE situation as Possible

AFRIKAN LOVE

[Elisa Keisha]

Originally Posted by BlackQueen

In other words,it's optional.

I would say its optional but optimal

[Nefertiti]

When I was growing up both my parents were in the house even after the divorce we were back and forth between at home with Ma and going to pops house,... Now in my house the both of us is there with the children, its good for balance and discipline...though a single mom could do a great job too! But a man's presence is strongly needed

[MsLioness]

I believe it is important to have a mother and father in a single household.
It seems that mothers would like to have good functioning fathers in their households. I do not believe that, for the majority, it was optional whether or not they would have the father figure in their households. I believe that the mothers, the majority of the mothers, were without an option which forced them to have a single parent household.

If they could choose, they would have a husband, the father of their children, in the house with the family doing what fathers should do.

Now, to me, marriage is the most important without the actual legal papers. Because being married is a state of mind, and an agreement, going to the courthouse is a procedure;protocol. Once children are involved, things become even more complex and you cant have a husband and children without having a father and children. So, its all intertwined in that state of mind of being married and doing as a couple of people operating as one should do.

I believe it is healthy to be married when it comes to having children. We need it the most, clearly. Marriage helps prioritize. We are a people who need to learn to put family first...build a tribe. We need to return to how our fathers and mothers were. And, I believe, if we could value mankind correctly, for all humanity is worth, we would free ourselves.

[Queen_Samiya]

I grew in union of a happily married couples. My mother was an housewife and my father was a hard working man that would bring home the bread. I knew what it is like to have a balance relationship as a family, because my dad had supportive to us until he passed away when I was 11 years old. I was born in their union of marriage, and I truely believe that man and woman should make a commitment before they have children together.

[ru-bare]

Originally Posted by Queen_Samiya

I grew in union of a happily married couples. My mother was an housewife and my father was a hard working man that would bring home the bread. I knew what it is like to have a balance relationship as a family, because my dad had supportive to us until he passed away when I was 11 years old. I was born in their union of marriage, and I truely believe that man and woman should make a commitment before they have children together.

Yes

If you want to impart your decisions to live by a rule higher than self which marriage is then yes.

No.

Having children is usually after the fact that pleasure (lust) was on the mind. So in essence marriage is consider fulfillment of dread instead of fulfillment of pleasure because its a byproduct of consequences.


Black folks in the old days usually did not have a complete education like we do today and somehow marriage was considered a high ideal for all classes.

Now marriage is a planned event which makes me wonder why it comes into questioning today.

[5602]

Originally Posted by BlackQueen

That's the truth! We don't have any balance at all.

We have allow imbalanced grafted beings and their dangerous behaviour to be the models that we live by. For instance, most of what is destribed here can be traced directly back to modern feminism, intergration, modern slavery, media, etc.

Also, it not mentioned much, but our whole view of gender,sex, and family is completely out of sync with natural law!

What's more dangerous is those of us who grow up in these situations many times don't even realize how destructive they are because we don't know anything else! This is deliberate on the part of the runners of our society.

[Fenix]

Marriage is optimal yes, but this is assuming that "marriage" implies a true committment to the family. I've seen married couples that would do better to just get a divorce. Balance is important, but so is a peaceful household.

I think a lot of parents/caregivers have forgotten that we first learn of our "roles" in the world from our family. Just as a man child in a single parent home might struggle with developing relationships with a woman (due to lack of an example), so might a child in a home where one parent is abusive to the other (due to a bad example).

It's complicated.

[Sourakhata]

Originally Posted by Fenix