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    Mind of a Young Black Male

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    by , 02-05-2008 at 01:48 PM (1054 Views)

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    He did good for most of the day and got to be line leader. Later on in the day, he got mad about something and told someone that he was going to go to a gun store and buy a gun to shoot his teacher. When asked by the teacher if he had said it, and if he meant it, he reluctantly answered yes to both questions. But instead of sending him to the principal, the teacher called his mother.

    Last night my mama called me, crying, telling me about my little brother's day at school. He's 5 years, in kindergarten. He's had multiple parent-teacher meetings, and even detentions, for misbehavior in school. He is by far no dummy. Before going to kindergarten he had taken a test, at 4, that showed he was on the same level academically as 5 and 6 year olds.
    Anyway, she was hurt that he had thought to say something like that, and is worried about what's going to happen if/when the other kids go home and tell thier parents about what he said, and what'll happen if/when it gets to the principal or the school board. He most likely/obviously needs some counseling. But the last thing he needs is to be placed in some class for "troubled children", or put on some kind of medication.

    Usually when I talk to him, I try to be encouraging and friendly, but last night I almost went off on him. His major problem is not having enough positive male interaction. His father died when he was 3, and I moved to Texas for college. Even though I'm states away from him, and have little money, I still do what I can to talk with him and encourage him to do better. I'll continue doing what I can, call him more often, write him, and if worse comes to worst, I'll move back to Kansas City.

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    1. tyydae's Avatar
      I am not a therapist, but it sounds like you have your mind right. Grounded, encouraging, and very hopeful.

      Thanks for feeling comfortable to share.

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    2. Fenix's Avatar
      Definitely hear you brother. My little sister went through a stage like this and my reaction was similar. But really, it was a cry for attention. Your brother and my sister are lucky in that they don't have far to search for positive influence or the attention that they need (and are begging for). So many young people out there are craving attention and have to resort to finding it in the streets. Keep doing what you're doing.

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    3. nattyreb's Avatar
      Thanks so much for sharing that, Bro., i can relate from personal experience. Thank goodness the teacher didn't send him to the principal where he may have faced expulsion or possible interference from the just-us system in your precious family's lives for god knows how long!

      He really needs the bejesus scairt out of him about what to say and not to say at school. He's got to understand fantasy vs. reality (which i know at that age is hard cuz they will say they know but may still not quite get the level of seriousness of just saying some words without true bad intentions).

      i have no doubt that he's probably frustrated and acting out some. These schools don't know how to teach our children, particularly those so mentally gifted as your bro. He's probably bored and yes, needs the mentoring you suggested. i definitely do agree that you need to step up your communication with him, you can do so by mail like you said. He'll probably be tickled to receive envelopes with his name on them from his big Bro. Inside can be whatever you come up with, something to keep his mind occupied. Maybe you can get some children's activity books and send him a few pages at a time and include whatever your creative juices can come up with for him to write about, DVD to watch, music to listen to, and have him write you back with his completed assignments. At least that will help him have something positive to work on. Also, if there's a local Rites of Passage program or something he can get involved with like martial arts or a musical instrument, his brain needs stimulation beyond what video games/tv can offer.

      i didn't mean to get so long-winded, like i said i have personal experience (and am still struggling!) and so was moved by your posting. Please keep us up to date on your (our) little bro.

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