by, 02-10-2015 at 01:09 AM (989 Views)
By Yahmeesh Yh'mar Akbar I
I don't like to glorify my mental disorder, but I have gaps in my memory, from long stretches of intoxication and drug abuse.
I realized that the mind is sensitive (so is the heart). Requiring full attention for guidance and instructions.
It needs to be on point!
This one fellow, from high school remembers me from back-in-the-day.
I can't remember him from Adam.
He makes it a point to remind me, every time we meet. I haven't had the heart to tell him, I suffered, terribly from a host of mental ailments, and I'm in recovery.
The mind is meant to work intuitively under normal or stressful circumstances. But when drugs, and other mind altering substances are introduced into the system, it begins to work abnormal; creating mental gaps.
Any time I've suspended my judgement, and rationale thinking, with mind altering substances, my brain created ways to keep me safe; not others. Thus I started to exhibit unacceptable and deviant behaviors. I hindered my natural social progression with alternative personalities, so I could live with insanity under normal conditions.
I'm getting better.
Back in high-school, I didn't even know myself. Maybe I thought, being vulnerable, under the influence, of narcotics ,and drinking would be my only opportunity to keep it real. God knows I was wrong, and just for today I'm grateful God was right.
Because insanity shows up unscheduled, from a sober state of mind.
Peace be upon you
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