Racism is a disease Part 2

[Pragmatic]

When I was in the millitary. I remember this Filipino man saying, "Fuck God" to me. He was my Senior Chief. I put paperwork in on him. We got to this coversation behind him "allowing me" to leave after my watch was over. Needless to say, he forgot, and called me a liar. I said, "only me, you, and GOD know the truth...


Well, 8 months later. . . . I was in front of the C.O; The Captain of the boat; The Superior Officer, with my dress whites pressed. Dual pinned; overqualifed, and ready for some justice.

I was very nervous. Cause' I truly "believed" in the Navy Core Values of HONOR, COURAGE, and COMMITMENT which help guide my everyday waiting to be seen by the Captain. *( By this time they know that I'm muslim, and black.)

Before I got there, they called my entire Chain of Command to the Captain's State Room. Maybe they briefed him to what was going on, or they were reprimanded. But when I got there are meeting was very short, and curt.

In his reddess face, he checked me about my "substandard performance", and told me he wasn't going to do nothing about it. I politely said, "O.K and went down stairs, got undressed, complained to homeboys, and finished my career,... 6 years later the same way it had all started.

And it statred in retribution. Retribution is something given or exacted in recompense; to make suitable return to for a benefit or service or for an injury.

My retribution came in my attribution; attibution is an inherent characteristic ; also : an accidental quality: an object closely associated with or belonging to a specific person, place, or thing.

I allowed my self to be shamed over and over again. Never tiring. Because I submitted over to there shame and wreckage of there past.

I have yet to collectively, or personally hang anyone, stomp on there fetuses, burn, mutilate, or caterate anybody.

I have yet to see the same amount of shows on T.V, magazines or school literature that say, "I'm prettier and more important than you are".

And my point is this:

I'm African, but I'm not saying that to be "prideful or boastful". But I'm proud of African people who share the same historical affinity as I. Individual or collective. Accomplishments; small or large.

And because I'm drug and alcohol free, people like myself, of different colors, not races, are proud to share my recovery with me today.

So just for today, I cannot hold on to the illusions of resentments manfisted, and maintained by White Racism towards people like myself, people of color.

By not clearing up the shame of there past, they push it off on me, so I don't forget that I'm a nigger, and that I should know my place.

I only hold on to this image of myself, and others like me, if and when I share in there attributes of racism, and the history they have manifested, which is retribution, a consequence of there past. I can only surrender to there suggestion of me, if I willingly submit to there interpretation and understanding of me. Then I'll always get, what I always got. Shame, guilt, and pityful incomprenhensible demoralization. I can only be responsible for my own history and past, and just for today, I feel good about where I'm at, GOD willing.


[9:36] The count of months, as far as GOD is concerned, is twelve. This has been GOD's law, since the day He created the heavens and the earth. Four of them are sacred. This is the perfect religion; you shall not wrong your souls (by fighting) during the Sacred Months. However, you may declare all-out war against the idol worshipers (even during the Sacred Months), when they declare all-out war against you, and know that GOD is on the side of the righteous.

Tired of being sick and tired,

Peace be upon you

[Eka]

Tired of being sick and tired, we all are, including those who have yet to realize.