I just realized I'm not high.

I just came from my daughter's black belt ceremony. She's a second dan. I dropped her off at her homegirls house. And I pulled up to the house. I parked my car, and right before I got out the car, I realized, "I'm not high".

I'm not high or disoriented. I looked around my garage, and it's clean. And if it was dirty, all I have to do today is ask my kids to go and clean it up. I was able to bend over a crush a can or two that my kids save and put it in a bag, for them.

I'm not high today on no narcotics, or alcohol, GOD willing. Just for today I feel real good. I'm feeling really grateful. All praise be to GOD, I'm not high today, and I can think. I feel good.

When I'm high & disoriented, I'm so frustruated and angry. I believe I'm sirene and at peace, cause my thoughts are scattered all over the place. I know I've been raped and molested and abused. But since I don't have to focus on one thought at a time I can deal with being disoriented and discontent.

It's better than feeling used and dirty. I ain't used when I'm disoriented. And I ain't focusing on one compounded secret.

Today, I choose not to be a secret. Today I choose to be happy, joyous, and free. Happy I'm able to live one day at time without drugs and alcohol, GOD willing.

Picture Added 01-08-2009

Peace be upon you