Pastor Ray's Testimony of His Transition From Christianity To Afrikan Consciousness

[Fine1952]

http://hometown.aol.com/truthcenter/mytestimony.html

THE TESTIMONY OF PASTOR HAGINS' TRANSITION
FROM CHRISTIANITY TO AFRIKAN CONSCIOUSNESS
By Brother Ray Hagins

Hotep (Peace) Brothers & Sisters,

My (birth) name is Ray Hagins. My spiritual name is Sa Ra Ankh Hotep Maakheru Setep En Ra (which means "a son of God, who has been chosen by God to be a teacher of truth bringing (or giving) life and peace)." I presently serve as the Chief Elder and Pastor of The Afrikan Village (formerly New Ephesus Missionary Baptist) Church in St. Louis, Missouri.

Many people have asked me about how I made the transition from a Pentecostal minister (who was "sold out" for the so-called gospel of Jesus Christ) to Afrikan conscious minister and warrior for the liberation of Black Afrikan people. After sharing my testimony with another minister, he suggested that I post the testimony of my transition into Afrikan consciousness on the Internet in hopes of inspiring other brothers and sisters who may be at the point of coming into an Afrikan awareness from the quantum deception of European philosophical and religious thought. I pray that my testimony will help to strengthen and inspire others who are at the crossroad of right knowledge.

In 1987 I was invited to a meeting of about 25 Black men (educators, businessmen, community leaders, and 3 ministers) in my hometown of Paterson, New Jersey. Although the meeting had not started, we were informally talking about what needed to be done to enhance our community. Suddenly, I overheard one of the brothers say, "We need to get this European Jesus out of the minds of our people, and realize that the original Christ was named Horus."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard! Immediately, everything in me shut down and I went into "battle station" mode. I mean, I IMMEDIATELY went to "Def-Con 1" ("Def-Con" is a military phrase, which means "Defense Condition." Def-Con 5 is peacetime, Def-Con 4 is combat preparedness, Def-Con 3 is combat readiness, Def-Con 2 is at combat station, and Def-Con 1 means, "engage the enemy").

I stepped over to this brother and said, "What do you mean Jesus' name was Horace?" (I thought he was saying H-O-R-A-C-E.) He responded, "It WAS Horus. The first virgin-born, Christ-child was Horus of Egypt and the first record of his birth dates back to over 6,000 years B.C."

Well, I, (with my sincere, but ignorant self), stood in the middle of the floor and said, "Brothers, I am sorry to have to leave, but ANYBODY who refuses to accept who Jesus is a deceiver and is of the devil. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus and I plead the blood of Jesus in this place." (NOTE: I said this because I honestly felt that I was in the midst of satanic agents.) Now, understand, these were Black men who were aware of the truth of our Afrikan history, and I saw my own (Black) brothers as agents of satan!!! Now, did Euro-Gentile Cultural Imperialism and Supremacy (via my "Christian" training) do a job on me or what?

I left that meeting and actually declared war on these men. I misused my radio show (and later my TV show) to blast these men. I felt that it was my "sacred duty" to defend the gospel of Jesus Christ and warn as many people as I could about these Black men (who I genuinely mis-perceived as) agents of the devil. I did this for well over a year.

The 3rd Sunday in March of 1991, as I stood up to preach at my church in Paterson, NJ, just as I was about to read the text for the message, which was Romans 8:28, it seemed as though someone whispered in my right ear, "Did people know God BEFORE Moses went up on the mountain?"

I actually turned around to see who was there because it was just that audible and clear. I told the congregation, "Y'all-wait a minute! This question just popped into my head (then I told them what it was). It wasn't that significant for them, but it was VERY significant for me because ALL of my theology was based in Moses coming down off the mountain with the "Ten Commandments" (or "The Law"). I will never forget that day because it was the day that I began to THINK! I actually exercised my critical thinking faculties and scrutinized what I had been taught all my life.

I asked myself, "Did Moses have a God-consciousness BEFORE talking with God on the mountain?"

A few days later, during my devotions, I stumbled across Acts 7:20-22, which states: "In which time Moses was born, and was exceeding fair, and nourished up in his father's house three months: And when he was cast out, Pharaoh's daughter took him up, and nourished him for her own son. And Moses was learned in ALL THE WISDOM OF THE EGYPTIANS, and was mighty in words and in deeds."

I looked up the word "wisdom" (as it was used in that particular verse); it comes from the Greek word "sophia," which means, "skill and discretion in imparting the truth of God; the knowledge and practice of the requisites for godly and upright living; supreme intelligence, such as belongs to God; the wisdom of God as evidenced in forming and executing counsels in the formation and government of the world and the scriptures." I said, WAIT A MINUTE!!! Moses got THIS from the Egyptians!!!

(NOTE: Throughout my theological training I was taught that the Egyptians were barbaric, ignorant, enemies of and cursed by God).

Several days later, as I was coming from a meeting in downtown Paterson, my car was parked in front of an old book store that sold used books called Bazaar Books. I had passed this store hundreds of times over the years and NEVER had the slightest inclination to go inside; but this particular day I was "moved" to go inside and browse around. Of course, the only area that really interested me was Religion & Philosophy.

I picked up a book entitled, "Osiris & The Egyptian Resurrection" (Part 1) by E.A. Wallis Budge. The idea of an Egyptian "RESURRECTION" caught my attention. I opened the front cover to the preface and came across the following words:

"The central figure of the ancient Egyptian Religion was Osiris, and the chief fundamentals of his cult were the BELIEF IN HIS DIVINITY, DEATH, RESURRECTION, and absolute control of the destinies of the bodies and souls of men. The central point of each Osirian's Religion was his HOPE OF RESURRECTION IN A TRANSFORMED BODY AND OF IMMORTALITY, WHICH COULD ONLY BE REALIZED BY HIM THROUGH THE DEATH AND RESURRECTION OF OSIRIS.

I literally shouted out, "WHAT IS THIS?" I immediately suffered what we psychologists call "cognitive dissonance." I knew that this was EXACTLY what I had believed since I was a child and preached for almost 20 years, but the central figure of MY belief and message was a man called "Jesus Christ." What really bothered me was, according to what I had been taught, Jesus Christ was the ONLY person about whom such a message applied. Then when I read that this belief system had been with the Nile Valley Afrikans for at least the last 15 to 20 thousand years-I really lost it!!! You see, any scholar of Christianity will tell you that Genesis 1:1 only dates back to 4,004 B.C.

Then, to top it off, I read about the Ancient Afrikan TRINITY; which consisted of Ausar, Aset, and Heru (which the Europeans renamed: Osiris, Isis and HORUS)!!! I came to find out that Horus was the "virgin born, immaculately conceived" son of Osiris. This led me on a sincere and intense search for actual undeniable evidence for the truth.

The more I researched, the more I realized that the entire program that I had been indoctrinated into was a LIE. In 1993, I decided to leave the ministry that I was so popular in and knew so well. I simply could not, any longer, stand in front of my people and teach that which I had found to be a stolen, copied, plagiarized and European fabricated version of the ancient concepts of Afrikan spirituality.

This was the most painful period of my life. At one point I had become so depressed about my believing in LIES that I even had thoughts of suicide. How could I have been so wrong??? I couldn't understand how I actually experienced "the power of God" moving upon me in mighty and awesome ways in the past IF this was all a lie??? I felt betrayed, humiliated, deceived, confused, unworthy, and like a complete failure.

Now, I wasn't feeling all this because of the truths that I had come to find out about. No! For these truths were UNDENIABLE EVIDENCES that DEMANDED AN UNDENIABLE and INEVITABLE VERDICT! That verdict was that I had been lied to! I was angry with all those who taught me these lies (my parents, my teachers, my professors, etc.). The ONLY thing that helped me in this area was coming to the realization that the same dog that bit me, bit my parents too! They were only teaching me what they had been taught.

This, however, that doesn't apply to my seminary professors. I met with my the president of the seminary I graduated from, and asked him, "Why isn't this information a part of the curriculum and course requirements for a degree in Sacred Literature?" He said to me, "You don't need to know about that. Besides, it is not substantial data within the context of the mission statement of this institution." He had just told me, in a politically correct way, that I had been trained in one of the biggest LIES of all time and that I was supposed to perpetuate this LIE and train others in it.

After several years of securing the proper education of right knowledge, I efficaciously returned to the pulpit in February of 1998, when I became the pastor of Ephesus Missionary Baptist Church in St. Louis (which is another discourse all by itself). Through an old wise man, God convicted me in September of 1997 by asking me; "Son, if you young folk, whose eyes have been opened to the truth, abandon our people (who don't know no better), then what hope is there for us?" Then he said, "God DID call you to preach, but to preach the TRUTH!"

Hence, here I am-

My reason for sharing this testimony is NOT to "convert" anyone to African consciousness-but simply to let you know that since the European invasion and theft of our people from our Motherland, we Afrikans have been born and raised in the LIE of European Religious and Cultural Imperialism and we think we are walking in the truth (because it is all that we know)! The religion that we have been made to love (Christianity), was forced upon us by European slave traders and the European "slave masters" who enslaved us. That alone should make EVERY Black man, woman and child be suspect about the slave master's religion.

There is a phrase that says you reap what you sow. Well, that certainly is true, because I have gone (and am going) through the same kind of attack that I viciously put on those brothers who compassionately respected my ignorance in 1987. I wish that I could go back and tell them that I am so sorry for attacking their awareness with my ignorance-but most of them have passed on. So when I give the oath to the Ancestors, I remember them. They were the ones that God used to plant the seed of this truth in me. Now, when I am attacked (by others who are sincerely ignorant), I see my "old" self and where I came from. That helps me to be compassionate on my attackers. I realize that they are sincerely defending what they think is the truth (just like I did).

Coming into a consciousness of your Afrikan self can (and probably will be) very painful for you. I must admit that it's very painful being called "an antichrist" or "a messenger of satan" or "false prophet," etc., by your own people. It hurts being MISUNDERSTOOD by your family, friends and loved ones, especially when they haven't done (nor are they willing to do) the research and/or learn what you have learned; but, yet you are the one who is "deceived" and don't know what you are talking about. Believe me, THAT HURTS!

Then there are those (Christians) who feel that I "need to be stopped for the sake of the gospel!" But I know that God has called me and given me this assignment- AND I CAN'T STOP! Even if it means loved ones walking away from me and calling me "crazy" (which has happened), or even losing my physical life. And, it's just THAT serious. The worse pain of all is when your family, friends, loved ones, and others who would misjudge you, REFUSE to do their own research to see for themselves the basis of your information or if what you are saying is true or not.

I have actually pulled books from the libraries of other ministers, turned to the proof or source of the information in question and said, "Here, man. See for yourself." They would look away and say, "I don't want to see that." I have stood across the desks of several friends (who are pastors) and asked them, "Brother, why are you attacking me when what I have said is right here in the very commentary that you study by and use to prepare your messages?" I understand that the reason they didn't want to "see" was because then they, too, would be compelled to change, and that is definitely NOT an option for most ministers who can be voted out and/or removed from their pulpits if they do not preach and uphold the "doctrines" of that particular church or denomination.

Another problem that I was faced with was the problem with my music ministry. Over 90% of the songs that I wrote and used to sing, I couldn't sing them anymore. I began to realize that it's not really about worshipping GOD! It's about worshipping "Jesus!" Even the biblical text states that Jesus said that NO ONE IS TO BE WORSHIPPED BUT GOD ALONE!!! ("Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and HIM ONLY shalt thou serve") (See Matthew 4:10 and Luke 4:8).

Did you know that (according to the biblical text) Jesus NEVER told his disciples to go preach (or teach) about him! He told his disciples, "As you go, preach, saying, The Kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matthew 10:7). We have been programmed to give more attention to the so-called "gift" (Jesus) than the giver (God) of the gift. Not only could I not "preach" this Euro-Gentile "program" anymore...I couldn't sing about it either. Being that I was a gospel recording artist and the State Minister of Music for the State of New Jersey Churches of God in Christ, this was REALLY a major adjustment for me.

I painfully learned that my friends were my friends as long as we were in agreement "when it comes to Jesus." I have been told many times, "The bible says, how can two walk together except they agree." I couldn't understand why other ministers (who I thought were my friends) discontinued our relationship as friends just because I learned something that they didn't know or agreed with??? What did that have to do with me as a person???

In closing, please understand, what God reveals to you, is for YOU! I made the mistake of trying to take others along with me to the next level in MY development. It doesn't work that way! Realize that if you choose to learn more, you may very well lose some of your closest friends. You will want to take them to the next level with you, but realize that God is taking YOU there...not y'all there.

I pray that this testimony is helpful to some brother or sister who is making their transition to Afrikan consciousness. Stay strong, Brothers and Sisters, and always know that the Creator and the Ancestors are with you!

Hotep,
Brother Ray
(a.k.a. "Sa Ra")

[underdrum]

i seem to frequently stumble across good articles in assata speaks and if i don't make a response now, i'll probably not be able to find this article again. having come from apostolic/pentacostal background myself, there are not a few of brother ray's experiences that i can identify with, though not in the ministry: the ostricizing without the complementary research; labeling as "backslider" "reprobate" and the like; submiting to "racist" propaganda rather than the unchanging word of god etc. coming from a theological position of modalistic monarchialism and soteriologically one of c o n d i t i on a l security, i was somehow convinced that this had to be of more "african" origins simply on the bases that it did not conform to the charles stanleys and josh mcdowells of mainstream christinsanity. not subscribing to the doctrine of the trinity anyway, it never occured to me that t h a t doctrine might actually be of african origin. while i still don't view the trinity as an explaination of the divinity of christ superior to that of "oneness" (mainly because my view of who jesus was has grown), i do now appreciate more the depth of the contribution of africans to genuine spirituality n o t rooted in "religion". it is from the o t h e r "amen corner" that i hope you hear a hardy appreciation of your testimony! foward!

[Fine1952]

it has taken me over 2 years to reply back, however, it is better late than never...!

Ma'at Hetep - Supreme Peace

[Nefertiti]

Now only if this consciousness can spread amongst other Preachers Pastors and reverends teaching the masses of people about who they are and the truth, not praising jesus but introducing them to Afrikancentricity they might get some conscious members in the audience

[Ree]

Thank you Brother Ray
Hotep