Brother/Sister Warrior, how has your day been? RELEASE!

[Nia Maishani]

If anyone here leads a life that is anything like mine, it seems each and every day, I have to deal with a major stressor. Normally (daily), it's , other times, it's . So I thought I'd start this thread to give Warriors an area to just release! Vent! Rant! Just get it off your chest, and wait for a reassuring and some overstanding from ya Sustah.

I'll start it off with my own exhalation.

Today, I'm in the company of a sister I deal with regularly, who's a partner in the black liberation struggle. I already question the sister's integrity, because she's living with (and sleeping with) a brother who is married. No, he and his wife aren't together (obviously), but the point is he's married. And calls himself a 5%er. I've been trying to overlook the situation, because the sister seems otherwise mostly cool, seems to have some black power thinking, and is big on black studies. And the brother and his wife are separated (but not divorced). Well, just when I was trying to get past this hurdle, today she tells me she can't wait to tell me about her time in DC for MMM. Long story short, she got up there and smoked a fatty with a brother I met a few months ago while doing liberation work in his town (we're all a part of the same organization), and tells me today, with stars in her eyes, "the brother is just in love with a sister...he's been calling me every day since we got back...with a woman and baby ". In other words, bragging that she hooked up with a brother who has a woman and child. Now this is a brother whom when I met him, I was left with an impression of utmost respect. I even had him on a pedestal for being a brother exceptionally devoted to the black family, the black village, the black nation and PanAfrika. Now unless this sista is lying (why would she be?), this brotha's halo has turned to horns in my eyes, and that's not good when a Sista is trying to maintain the fawning vision of Good, Strong, Loyal Black Men. Needless to say, I've also lost a great deal more respect for the sista as well--even though I still respect her as a black woman. I almost want to drop out of the organization.

[CreatorsCollege]

Originally Posted by Nia Maishani

I almost want to drop out of the organization.

Sister, let the "dead bury the dead." Raise that Sister UP. "Association breeds assimilation," will the assimilation be you onto her, or her onto you? Is your truth universal, learned or perceived? Is your purpose in her life to hold a mirror to her consciousness?

If she's your FRIEND, she should be able to bear YOUR TRUTH. If you're her FRIENDS, you should BARE YOUR TRUTH in LOVE.

I understand that you don't have to do anything, but I "think" that you may begin to build resentment towards her and the others in that "group" for their behavior, because their ways are not like your ways, and will soon if not already become a stumbling block towards building with them.

"When people show you who they are, BELIEVE them." -Maya Angelou

My TURN!!

I have a "friend" that I've known for about 16 years, since college. For most of those years, I respected her highly for her strength, and cutting insight. When I decided to come back to Cairo, she brought her family back, too. We both are doing the ESL hustle, though I decided to flex my professional skills and do the damn thang.

All of her insecurities were projected onto me as she told me that I was "autistic" and that I needed to OWN IT!! Man, I was beyond hurt. I cut her off. This was back in April. This past Friday she called me with her "woe is me" story 'bout how she just got out of the hospital and almost died, and felt that she needed to "set things right with people." I was like, cool 'alright and just vibed with her for a minute. I took her some money, spent time with the kids and all that.

We fell back into the convo groove, and she started spweing the name self-hating, I'm a party of one, downing everybody and Africans especially black men. This was instigated by me telling her about the books and web-sites that I found, this site, and how I was learning and growing in African Consciousness and coming into the one-ness of African Presence. I was and am furious.

I can't be mad, though 'cause I brought it on myself. I'm dealing with "dry bones."

Self to Ego: That's what you get!
Soul to Self: Danger, Danger, hazardous energy formation -pleace clear the vacinity.

I rode the train back downtown knowing that the friendship I once knew was dead, and that I had just had the wake and the funeral. Being that I had processed all of my feelings in the months since the separation, I felt and feel nothing. She's "the woman in the red dress," and almost got me again. Damn "her"!

LESSON: BEWARE OF CONSCIOUS OBSTRUCTION MEAQUERADING AS "FREIND/SHIP"

"You have mistaken my tolerance for kindness, and and my kindness for weakness." I know this woman is gonna call me again, however if she's not willing to "assimilate" unto the consciousness of love for her African self/man and one-ness of African-ness - there's nothing we have to talk about. I refuse to crucify my knowing/being on the "cross" of firendship, and having strengthened myself, REFUSE TO SUFFER IN SILENCE.

If my lesson in this is to slay the dragons (untruth/self-hate) WHEREEVER AND IN WHOMEVER I FIND IT, then perhaps I can deem myself worthy of the candidacy of the "elect" and a wield the TRUE power of a Warrior (FOR TRUTH).

I recognize that I'm in a Spiritual battle, and this Spirit is trying me again. I now know THERE CAN BE NO RETREAT.

Peace & Love

[Nia Maishani]

Alright, you gets two .

One for your sage advice to me, and the other for having to deal with negativity with your former longtime "friend".

As much as I would like to lift the sister up, and probably should and need to, I am going to have to cool off first, because I am still heated. Everytime I think of the DECEPTION that she and the brother are serving on his WIFE, it burns me up. And I don't even know his wife. But what I do know is that I might be someone's wife one day, and there will be vultures out there ready to lance, full of who knows what types of dis-eases ready to be shared with me while I'm at home caring for his child. The other bad part is that I've entered this organization newer than both of them, and I'm serious about building, not trying to further some base, vile, ulterior motives.

I really want to help the sister to change, but I already know that she doesn't want to herself. There's been too many times I've heard her speak in lewd terms, and she seems to be full (and proud) of herself on top of that. I just feel like I want to distance myself from females like that. God forbid anyone who knows her better than I, should think we are "partners in crime" when they see us together. Don't get me wrong, I'll be happy to say something to her about it, out of love, but there will not be any "running together" between the two of us. No, Sir. As far as these things being "my Truths", I beg to differ. There is no rationalizing deception, hipocracy or lasciviousness. None. I'd like to know who would suggest that deception (especially by a so-called leader) is excusable. You've got one broken Black Family already, and a second just waiting to happen, with one black person the ochestrator of both. I don't think it is "my Truth", but "THE Truth" that such is selfish, destructive, foul, wrong and despicable. I expect much better from our own.

[Nesayem]

Peace Sis,
That's the problem with women, at this stage we see ourselves as seperate individuals not a collective. Your comrade really has no shame about her self to actually tell people she sleeps with a married man, a wants to hook up with another brother who has a family. Yeah sis, your going to have to stay far away from that energy because it wont manifest anything but anger, dis-honesty, and confusion. You dont want to be there when his wife finds out because sis I'm telling you if that was my husband...you organization would be missing a sister!.

As for that brother who you believed was for the cause, how can someone talk about re-building families when their own house isnt in order. I cant stand "revolutionary pimps" who use liberation terms, organizations, and schools of thought, to make a good impression on women. All the sisters on this board have known at least one brother that was like that.lol.

This situation got me so steamed I realized I really dont have anything to vent.

[CreatorsCollege]

Beloved Sister!

Thanks for the Hugs!

Now you know I know you 'aint got to do nothin' but Stay Black

I understand how you feel, and feel for the treachery that women must guard against where other women actively engage in family destruction.

Reprobate minds, they are! As far as "building," you def. don't have to allow anyone and their personal agendas get in the way of your purpose, do your thang as you become/create the change that you want to see.

You're a mirror to her, and she can't see it. Sooner or later, your silent power of conscience will become so loud that she's either pull away from you or turn against you. I hope not, but it has been my experience.

Your situation is a reminder of how far we have to go as a people whose moral foundation has been crushed. Words like character, trust, fortitude are not just for Scrabble -they are the foundational principles of Peace and Justice. How can we build a just society when we don't move individually from principles of peace and justice in our lives and personal interaction and relationships. I'm afraid we can't.

I made and am making many changes to change that which is in "me" that I don't want to see or experience. Understanding that I create my tomorrow today, I try to actively not cultivate anything that I don't want to experience. IT WORKS. I had to dis-engage from everything I knew and most people that I know to settle myself and find the "firm foundation" within.

Going inside is a place many people resist, and avioding doing so, direct their energies externally to try to "control" their lives, which soon turns into trying to control others. I accept that I am the only person that I have the power to change, and though I traverse this highway called "life" with other Souls knowing that I am also on a Road that only I can pass.

When I see people doing or behaving in ways that I resist, NOTE TO SELF: DON'T DO OR BECOME THAT. Mind made up, and with grace and strength, I keep being me.

You just might be the "light" that is being use to brighten the darkness!

Peace & Love!

[Brother Tarikh]

Alafia,

It's interesting that i come in here and find this topic. Today has been quite trying for me. I kept coming across many of our younger Afrikan brothers and sisters that seemed hell-bent on being ignorant (igrnoring their royalty). Myself, i am very much like W.E.B. DuBois in that i suffer fools lightly. In other words, i hate very little, but i do HATE ignorance. More than that, i HATE arrogant ignorance. And this isn't just with our younger or even older brothers and sisters: this can be found even in the hollow halls of conscious gatherings. There is nothing wrong with not knowing; but there is certainly something wrong with not knowing and pretending to know or not knowing and not giving a damn about not knowing.

And, it just seemed to meet me where-ever i was. At work, on the bus, at the library, every-freakin'-where!!! It got me down for a while, i will not deny it. But, i know that many of us are like this by design and apathy. It is my responsibility to enlighten as many as wish to be enlightened (including myself. As the ancient Afrikan adage goes, "all i know is that i know not".).

Glad to be able to "vent" like this. Now i am off to "make war with the beast".

Alafia All,

Soular-NRG.

[Nesayem]

This siddity ass negro. Does not even deserve to play Huey Newton in a movie. Oh yes, Im calling out names and going after people's character this morning. Last night another sister and myself saw this Tom, who was going to be attending the event with Chairman Fred, he was inside and would not come outside or let us in to speak with him. We were outside wanting to speak with him they locked the door.Um please, I didnt even remember his name I just knew he played Huey in a movie. This Tom is not a superstar, whenever you start thinking your better than the people/community that has supported your work..I got a problem with you. Keep in mind it's only me and another sister out there. In my mind, if he want's fake like he's Huey he can get his fake ass up to build with people in the community.

He is a picture of him & Spike Lee

[Nia Maishani]

Sist Nesayem,

How dare him! I knew exactly who you were speaking of before I scrolled to the photo. He was here many years ago performing his Huey P. Newton monologue at a local theater. He got a standing ovation, but I wasn't as impressed as the rest of the folk. He also starred in Spike Lee's Get On the Bus. I had an opportunity to speak with him briefly when he was here, and my impression was that he was kind of just spacey like. I regret to hear about your unpleasant encounter with him, Sis. I'm sorry, but your vent was comical. Not laughing at the situation or how it affected you, but your articulation of it all. Don't even sweat it, Sister. I'm glad it was him and not a celeb for whom we have lofty regards.

Incidentally, I apologize for not responding to the other responses from long ago in this thread. I'm not sure how I overlooked them. A very belated and thanks to Brother Tarikh, and again to Brother CreatorsCollege and again Sister Nesayem for your previous support. It's also ironic you dug this thread up today to vent. The sister who inspired this thread crossed my path just last night (late) after months of our not being in contact.

This is why I think it important to spread love whenever and wherever possible to one another. You never know what any brother or sister is going through on any given day, especially when it might be negative experiences in dealing with our own. And I think we all have those.

Peace, Love, Solidarity and New Afrikan Power!

[General]

Originally Posted by Nia Maishani

If anyone here leads a life that is anything like mine, it seems each and every day, I have to deal with a major stressor. Normally (daily), it's , other times, it's . So I thought I'd start this thread to give Warriors an area to just release! Vent! Rant! Just get it off your chest, and wait for a reassuring and some overstanding from ya Sustah.

I'll start it off with my own exhalation.

Today, I'm in the company of a sister I deal with regularly, who's a partner in the black liberation struggle. I already question the sister's integrity, because she's living with (and sleeping with) a brother who is married. No, he and his wife aren't together (obviously), but the point is he's married. And calls himself a 5%er. I've been trying to overlook the situation, because the sister seems otherwise mostly cool, seems to have some black power thinking, and is big on black studies. And the brother and his wife are separated (but not divorced). Well, just when I was trying to get past this hurdle, today she tells me she can't wait to tell me about her time in DC for MMM. Long story short, she got up there and smoked a fatty with a brother I met a few months ago while doing liberation work in his town (we're all a part of the same organization), and tells me today, with stars in her eyes, "the brother is just in love with a sister...he's been calling me every day since we got back...with a woman and baby ". In other words, bragging that she hooked up with a brother who has a woman and child. Now this is a brother whom when I met him, I was left with an impression of utmost respect. I even had him on a pedestal for being a brother exceptionally devoted to the black family, the black village, the black nation and PanAfrika. Now unless this sista is lying (why would she be?), this brotha's halo has turned to horns in my eyes, and that's not good when a Sista is trying to maintain the fawning vision of Good, Strong, Loyal Black Men. Needless to say, I've also lost a great deal more respect for the sista as well--even though I still respect her as a black woman. I almost want to drop out of the organization.

It figures, Most of the 5% are not refined. No disrespect to anyone on this forum, but I find them to be very child like. They call people 85ers when most of them do things that the 85% do all the time. I used to build with them about 12-13 years ago. These folks just refused to grow. I mean many of them studied "The lessons", but mostly they smoked weed all day then want to talk about how much higher consciousness they had. They also always seem to argue and fight. Even at the Million Man March that for me was the last straw, so folks that didn't even know each other were building and everyone was trying to bomb i.e. that is the langauge for denouncing supposed to be to teach or refine others knowledge, wisdom and understanding of Self, God and the Devil but really they were about to fight. I said its the same little dysfunctional thing all over the country. So, I had to get around some more researched, scholastic, well rounded and diverse thinkers and students, but I can not and will not be around Negro's. Now, I'm not class struck, though I believe that we should all be refined in all areas of our existence. Somehow the culture encourages this urban, hip hoppish, thugged out mentality amongst too many of these folks. One sista I really liked and hoped that she would grow since I appreciate the Anti-Whiteness of the Movement, but she just was so, so disconnected. I mean she didn't study or attend the diverse Pan Afrikan and/or Negro events. I personally made it my business to get around and speak from first hand knowledge what all segments of black folks were/are about i.e. Black Churches,different versions Islam, Rasta, Frats, Sorrorities, Negro Business groups. This person wouldn't even come to the Black Bookstore, but always wanted to go to Parliament. Parliament is an official gathering for those that do not know. B.T.W. she smoked weed to. I just think its just a type of gang that may read numbers. Some folks though are serious like C-Allah and my main man Salaah Rashad, but I had to elevate above them. He is/was from Long Island so he was more influenced than these folks. It's funny, I got him to change his name. I'm so proud of him.

Uhuru