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    1. #1

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      Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives


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      Hoteph Beloved Ones:

      Afrikan Women, there is nothing wrong with us. There is something wrong with these Afrikan males, (CLONE DISEASE), who deny us. It is the same as going from one enemy to another (the oppresosr daughters), and in the case when we Afrikan women marries outside the Afrikan race (whites), we engage with the opporesors sons. Some people love rhinestones vice Diamonds, and we Afrikan women are AFRIKAN D I A M O N D S, not RHINESTONES.
      ----------------------------------------------------------------------
      Nigerian Men and their Foreign Wives
      Mr. Sabella Ogbobode Abidde
      sabidde@yahoo.com

      Increasingly, and in greater numbers, Nigerian men are marrying non-Nigerian women. In droves, they are marrying Caribbean nationals, White-Americans and African-Americans. They are marrying, not for the primarily purpose of acquiring “greencard,” but for other noble reasons. They marry, not for the curiosity, but because they are bonded and are determined to make a success of the marriage institution; they are bonded by love and faith and a commitment to one another to live their lives as one in a happy matrimony.



      The more I notice this phenomenon, the more I wonder about some Nigerian men. I wonder. Culturally, Nigerian men are overbearing, controlling, and paternalistic. They relate to their fathers and mothers differently. They believe it is “a man’s world” and so they have the tendency to relegate women to subservient roles. True, things are changing. True globalization and modernity and westernization are impacting the Nigerian culture. In cities across Nigeria, these changes are noticeable; but over all, the effects of these changes are minimal. A Nigerian may be well read, well educated and well traveled, in the end though, he will succumb to the weight and influence of the Nigerian culture.



      We have a society where anthropological and sociological behaviors are still paramount. For instance, a great many Nigerians still practice levirate and sororate marriage, and they also engage in polygyny, bridewealth, and matrilocal and patrilocal living arrangements. And in spite of westernization, Nigerians are still not comfortable with public display of affection, i.e. kissing and verbal declaration of love; and neither are they comfortable with open and public discussions of abortion, sex and exotic sex acts. That Nigerians are not comfortable with such public declarations and have not completely embraced westernization is due, to a large extent, on the hold the traditional African culture has on the vast majority of the populace. At the core of every Nigerian, and indeed every African, is the thumbprint, the umbilical cord of their ancestors.



      This non-public declaration and display of love and affection is not unique to Nigerians living in Nigeria. No! The vast majority of Nigerians living in the United States are loath to engage in such practices, too. Furthermore, most Nigerians do not engage in endearing practices like candlelight dinners, flower giving, romantic walk by the lake or park, or even running the bath for their wives or lovers. It would surprise most westerners to know that a typical Nigerian father or mother would rarely, if ever, utter affectionate or confidence-building words like “I love you…” to their children; yet, the children have no doubt that their parents love them. Children are the crowing glory of any respectable Nigerian family.



      Haven digressed a bit, I return to the issue of Nigerian men and their foreign wives. I am stunned, perplexed, taken aback by the transformation Nigerian men, married to non-Nigerian women, have gone through in the United States (and perhaps all over the Western world). My goodness, here are a group of macho men, fiercely independent, with a burgeoning sense of entitlement who thinks the world belongs to them; and that women are made to be at their beck-and-call. Here they are; they have suddenly or gradually gone soft and sensitive and romantic and wide-eyed. How did these groups of men become “oh baby, oh baby” kind of guys? How did they become “yes honey, yes sweetheart, yes darling” kind of fellas? What has happened to them? What got to their hearts and soul?

      How were they able to adjust to living under a different set of rules and matrimonial conventions? How is it that a breed of men married to their fellow countrywomen would behave in a given and predictable manner; but then adjust to a different matrimonial lifestyle when married to foreigners? When they are with the Nigerian women, these men are all about control and power and they expect their wives to cook and clean and raise babies and provide sex on demand; but with the foreign wives, their balls shrink! Such men live by schedule. They have daily and weekly schedule of when to do the laundry and the dishes; of whose turn it is to empty the thrash; and of whose turn it is to sweep and mop the floor; and of when to eat out and cook at home.



      These men -- especially if married to White women -- feel lucky and grateful and mightily blessed. These men meet and exceed all matrimonial expectations; but would rubbish and dominate their Nigerian women. What is it about a White woman that makes the Nigerian male lose his senses? Could it be because of their skin color and their supposed sensuality and submissive attitude in bed? Could it be because they engage in all kinds of mind-altering sexual acts that, understandably, the Nigerian woman would NOT engage in? Or perhaps it has to do with the warped mentality of some Nigerian men who thinks everything white is good and desirable and so must be had!



      Why are Nigerian men afraid to turn control over to their Nigerian wives? Why are they averse to showing their sensitive side? Why the need to control and dominate? Why are Nigerian men reluctant to take their wives on a romantic walk to the parks and beaches, buy roses and cards? Why the need to bottle up their romantic side? Why have they refused to do for their Nigerian wives what they would heartily do for non-Nigerian women? After all, Nigerian women, unlike their foreign counterparts usually do not demand to be co-captains of the house. They usually do not demand for more than is earthly possible. And way more than their foreign counterparts they understand what it means to be a wife and a partner; they understand what it means to be part of the extended family.



      When it comes to matters of life, love and death, Nigerian women have stood by their husbands. They are there during the passing of their in-laws; they give succor in times of crisis. These women understand what the African family is all about. But not much can be said about non-Nigerian wives who may not even find it necessary to visit or attend marriage or burial ceremonies in their husbands’ ancestral homes. For non-Nigerian wives, life begins and ends in American. For these women, marriage is not about marrying into another family; it is about “us and us alone.” And in fact, they would rather you not bother them with stories about your extended families and the need for the monthly or quarterly remittances.



      Yes, some of us can’t help with whom we fall in love; but to the extent that one can, I would rather a Nigerian. A Nigerian woman is not likely to throw you out of your home; she is not likely to call the cops on you based on flimsy reasons; she is not likely to drag you through the judicial system; she is not likely to throw the divorce papers at you at the slightest provocation; she is not likely to turn her backs at you in times of financial difficulties and other crises. In order words: Nigerian women are likely to stay and be loving and generous and supportive for the long haul! Again and again and again, they have proven that of all God’s creations, they are the very best. And indeed, they are!



      goddess IsIs
      Being Thee Change Thee Afrikans/World Needs To See
      Spirituality IS MY Identity/Reality/Crown/Title/Gift/All

    2. #2
      Nesayem is offline Afrika Is In You

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      Goddess Isis and Family members,
      maybe you could offer some insigts into this. I had an encounter with a Nigerian man earlier today which really troubled by spirit. This individual works at the local afrikan market and that it the extent to which I know him. I am really not familar with this person and he asked me to go to the mall. He said he wanted to take me birthday shopping and how he was going to spend all this money and whatnot. So then he says he wants to come to my house and continued to talk in a manner that was sexually suggestive. I guess this was an attempt to buy my affection.I told him that he was impolite and very disrespectful and he ought to reverance a Queen when he see's one. I had a few choice names for him in arabic.lol. And told him that I have no time for fakers then he remarked with saying Ethiopians are fake, think they know everything, and a bunch of other trash. Many of the women I know have had similar experiences with Nigerian men. So my response to this artcile is.... let whoever wants them keep them. lol.

    3. #3

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      Hoteph Beloved Precious and treasured cargo Nesayem:

      MY Spirit honors your Spirit: :cheers:

      Beloved, please pardon my delay.

      Beloved, what you experienced and will continue to experience as long as you are a womb-gender (also referred to as female), is a Gap in communication between us Afrikans. Not on your part. You were Superb in your replies to him. For this I bow to you my Queen goddess sister. :cheers: Your replies/responses to him are the same all Afrikan womb-genders should practice on any males regardless of nationality. Nigerian males aren't the only one with these approaches. I do know of many good Nigerian males.

      What you experienced, and as I said, many other races does this same thing, is a Sheep In Werewolves clothing, a Vampire, A dog...and the likes of that resides in the human make-up.

      The bait was the shopping spree, and all that he was offering you. Once he gave you all of this then you would have been faced with PAY DAY. Pay him back in trade for what he gave you materialistically, and the demands from this may have been every evil act imaginable. He has lost his original Afrikan mind-set, to have approach you and I am certain others as well with materialistic baits.

      There are countries and especially Japan, where men would not dare to approach a female without making inquiries of the elders or others.

      There are countries where a man will get every part of his body cut off to step outside of respect for the woman.

      We as Afrikan women must at all cost do what you did, so that we can save each other from damnation. His action and all men who does this is the action of the Oppressor mind-set, because a true Afrikan man knows the righteous approach and respect the afrikan woman, because he knows his redemption lies in her. We have some good, bad, and ugly brothers and sisters too I might add.

      Beloved, look at each negativity as a tool to strengthen you. These are lessons, and you pass this one with flying colors. Here is an A+ for you. :cheers:

      I do hope this has been helpful to you, and Be free to ask me anything, I know the answer too.

      Here is loving you :cheers:

      Goddesss Isis Akkebala/Arike OShunDele/Iya of Afrika

    4. #4
      Elisa Keisha's Avatar
      Elisa Keisha is offline Moderator

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      Quote Originally Posted by Nesayem02
      Goddess Isis and Family members,
      maybe you could offer some insigts into this. I had an encounter with a Nigerian man earlier today which really troubled by spirit. This individual works at the local afrikan market and that it the extent to which I know him. I am really not familar with this person and he asked me to go to the mall. He said he wanted to take me birthday shopping and how he was going to spend all this money and whatnot. So then he says he wants to come to my house and continued to talk in a manner that was sexually suggestive. I guess this was an attempt to buy my affection.I told him that he was impolite and very disrespectful and he ought to reverance a Queen when he see's one. I had a few choice names for him in arabic.lol. And told him that I have no time for fakers then he remarked with saying Ethiopians are fake, think they know everything, and a bunch of other trash. Many of the women I know have had similar experiences with Nigerian men. So my response to this artcile is.... let whoever wants them keep them. lol.
      Oooh Yes Queen, I know what u talkin about… I had a similar experience with an african young man that claimed to be from Netherlands…(guess it sounded better then sayin he was Afrikan) he kept on askin me what I wanted him to buy me… he even offered me a car (when his own car was all f*cked up) and once he told me if my family had economic problems he could help with money for my education and take me to another country and be happy together. OH PAH-LEEZE. Who they are tryin to fool? These fellas just runnin around tryna get on somebody’s panties…Show some respect!


      The other day a Nigerian young man approached me in the street askin me how he could get to some square… I politly responded in English (this took place in Spain) and he starts askin me questions like where I live, my age, what do i do, how come i speak english… he finally asked me for my number… Sincerely, I HATE when men ask for ur number, or for a date without knowin u at all, its disrespecting. But the worst thing is the feelin I get from these type of african men, I have seen too much of this to know what they are attracted to. And its light-skin, the lighter and blonder the better. (Im very light-skinned, multimixed woman) I see them approachin northern gilrs at the street and in the club… and needless to say northern h**s are all excited about it. It gives me stomach ache… Men lack respect for Afrikan women, lack respect for themselves (not to mention the white women lack of selfrespect, which I care little for)

      Thank u Queen Goddess for the thread and for allowin me to share!! :cheers: :cheers:

      Elisa Marvena Nyarai




      SANKOFA Asociacin Cultural
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    5. #5

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      Hoteph Beloved Queen Goddess:

      My Spirit honors your Spirit.

      Beloved you are absolutely right about them targeting light-skinned Afrikan females or white females. I too am one shade darker than white and multi-mixed. I was drawn from a Darker Hue (Afrikan), and that I am. I have stories after stories about this subject. To do this totally disrespect Afrika, Afrikan females, themselves, and denies my darker complexion sisters what they have to offer the light-complexion sister, not that any of us desire what they have to offer. I will not stand by and idly watch my darker complexion sister be denied in any way. My daughters are dark complexion, and what chance do they have to have a true Afrikan male as a mate, if those Afrikan males are constantly in pursuit of light-skinned females or white. Sounds like prejudice/Bias to me. These are what is known as CLONES (oppressors wives), Black pretenders, White Bread Inside (those who join with the white female).

      I know of Afrikan males from all over who does this same thing, from the Caribbean to the deepest South. Believe it or not, some Afrikan females do the same thing. I am no respect of person. No matter the geographical location, they are all Afrikans first. These are perilous times (many people for themselves alone).

      Back in Virginia, where I lived several years ago. Bobby and Cassandra moved next door to me and my family. Bobby was a drug dealer from Jamaica. He frequents the college Campus parties, clubs, etc in search of the brainless light complexion female. You know all light complexion Afrikan females aren't brainless. Many seek that light complexion that have low self esteem, broken relationship with another, lots of children from Tom, Dick, and Harry, on welfare...you name it.

      Cassandra I must admit was a gorgeous person on the outside, but no one was home on the inside. She had a steady income of $1,ooo.oo a month, because she had a handicap child, and plus she was LEGIT. This made her a weak prey for the werewolves, vampires...and the likes.

      Bobby had real Gold Reams on his Mercedes. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
      He would take pictures of himself lying down in nothing but money and send it back to Jamaica to let his family see how large he was living. Bobby is not his real name.

      Anyway beloved, love had absolutely nothing to do with Bobby being with Cassandra. He would knock her up with babies and up against the head as well. He was on a green card in america, and knew if he produced babies by an america female that would be a Trump card he can play when the law tries to deport him.

      Remember this does not happen just with Afrikan males. This tactic is just another way to destroy the female energy from rising to her plateau, just his plateau.

      Beloved, as Goddess IsIs, it is my assignment to teach the women how to teach the Afrikan men how to get along with us Afrikan females.

      Heaven/Kingdom lies Between The Legs of an Afrikan Woman (see my thread on this), and most men have not done much to protect the Womb of a Woman. We must do that by any means necessary.

      Rules to remember:

      If you do not have his:
      1. Cell phone number
      2. His home number
      3. His car phone number
      4. His Mother/father number
      5. His best friend number
      6. His J.O. B. number
      7. and if there is a baby mama drama (her phone number too)

      He is not available. Walk, exit, sisters walk as fast as you can.

      If they ask why are you trying to make it so difficult. You simply say, because I Am Thee Gatekeeper/Watcher of My precious and treasured Soul, Master of My Temple Domain, and I must be careful who I touch and who touch me. Peace! All that we say to them must be done Eloquently.

      IF he is talking C’s & D’s, keep walking.
      If he is talking A’s & B’s, listen to him.

      To know our first name on a first meeting is a privilege. To be in a True Afrikan Woman presence is an honor.

      Next time you encounter these males like this, ask them these questions, and they will never trouble you again, unless they are real men who have a desire to be with a wise woman.

      Can you tell me how many people are yet to be born?
      Do you know where the wind, rain, sleet, hail, is stored?
      Can you take a picture of a sound?

      After you ask these questions, and of course they do not have the answer, ask them if they know who does know the answers to these questions. Thee Divine Creator of All things knows the answer, and if he does not know the Divine Creator, he knows nothing at all. We are to be Thinking people and what a woman needs is a Thinking man, who has knowledge, understanding, and wisdom. Not Carnivores (flesh eaters), VAMPIRES (blood suckers), and Superficiality. We need SuperAfrikans.

      This will be a challenge for his hunting skills, and he will, if he is not wise, will cease pursuing you, because he will realize that you are not an easy prey. A real man will take on the challenge. That is your A’s & B’s talking man.

      Beloved ones, we must remain a Mystery, and never become a history, by giving up names, telephone numbers…and the likes of too soon. A true hunter/man will sweat/perspire for a prey worthy of his hunt.

      The Sun always rises and the Moon just emerge into the Sun’s space. Lets keep the Flood Gates of our minds, heart, and souls closed to their nonsense, until the Real man who have the Master Keys ( knowledge, understanding, and wisdom), and in all three is everything we will ever need.

      The Afrikan Woman Womb is the Passage Afrikan men came through and we gave them permission to exist/be born, because we could have aborted them at any time, and this is how they display their gratitude, by disrespecting Afrikan Women. Sisters, protect the Vagina/Womb. CLICK CLICK. Thee Afrikan woman got Thee POWER, eyes haven’t seen, and ears haven’t heard about. We Afrikan females are the BOMB BOMB, and we need to go OFF (with truth).

      The Willie Lynch Letter is Alive in the Afrikan lives.

      Here is loving you sisters and brothers

      Hoteph

      Goddess IsIs

    6. #6
      rebelAfrika's Avatar
      rebelAfrika is offline Pan-Africanism or Perish!

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      Goddess IsIs...I bow before YOUR awesomeness

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      My Beloved, king god, Mighty warrior RebelAfrika: :cheers:

      MY Spirit honors your Spirit. :cheers:

      May your scent always be that of incense and Myrrh. May you always have the apperance of a gazelle, like a young stag on the mountains where spices grow. :cheers:

      I bow to your awesomeness.

      HILY

      Hoteph

      G-IsIs

    8. #8
      EmiliaFox is offline Premium Member

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      do you really believe that every white person's ancestors oppressed black people? how little you know about history! there are european countries that never had any colonies in africa or elsewhere and were oppressed and even colonised themselves. reversed racism.

      ---------- Post added at 12:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:46 AM ----------

      when i read this i get the impression that some women enjoy being oppresed by their men.

    9. #9

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      Excuse me.. but honestly.. much of this sounds like garbage. no offense.

      and the only reason I react this way is because this stuff patterns itself almost exactly in the same manner of disgusting rhetoric black females all over across the globe are voiceing about their black male counterparts.

      From N. America, to S. America, to the Caribbeans, to the UK and now even in Africa.

      Usually I take the time to listen to people's unique perspective on issues with which they may deal with on a different level than what it may be in America.

      But ALL these coincidences going on in these mutliple countries concerning black males and females? Nuh-uh girlfriend. Sounds like the same old, same old parroted rhetoric.

      I see one too many black females caught up on their issue of their skin color in saving face for redeeming the SIGNIFICANT qualities within themselves that they DO lack.

      thus leading me to the conclusion tht this is simply just a crutch black women lean on whenever convenient. Very useful in disparaging the REAL issues that they have(such as the topic of black female attitude and their unwillingness to work with their men) in stamping THIS one over it.

      Now-- as I am not nigerian I cannot attest to what it is exactly that they go through with Nigerian women.

      However-- the "something is wrong with our men CRAZED and RABID over these no good mixed, light-skinned and white bxtches" has been said ONE TOO MANY times for me NOT to put the dots together.

    10. #10
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      TureBandele is offline Warrior

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      I have noticed alot of coonery in Afrikan men when it come to trashy white women they marry or just swoon after.But its like every ill of black male is overrated and its the justification for putting the infallible black woman on the pedestal.Notice how all sisters in this thread call each other Queen mother goddess regardless of knowledge/social awarness but they call males brotha at best no king/god nothing even to the ones that earn title.Because these females think they entitled to anything and everything.Isis said so much when she said a black man is privledged just to be in the presence of black woman.The one black man she does praise says this

      Goddess IsIs...I bow before YOUR awesomeness
      She's using simp mentality by saying only real black man worship black women solely cause she's a black women regardless of deed and actions.But does did she all she said is black men act like dogs and they better bow down to us.So a black man that bashes other black men and praise black women regardless of deeds is a real ? Now you know why steve harvey and tyler perry are so popular !

      The Afrikan Woman Womb is the Passage Afrikan men came through and we gave them permission to exist/be born, because we could have aborted them at any time, and this is how they display their gratitude, by disrespecting Afrikan Women
      Isis then went along the same lines as kola boof (black femenist that brags about sucking white dick) talking about aborting Afrikan boys.But these womenhttp://www.assatashakur.org/forum/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=184104 are the leading cause of Afrikan American deaths more than diabetes,homisides,aids etc together they've killed 13 million babies in recent years.The leading cause of Afrikan american death is black women aborting their babies.Not only that since 70's femenism women have gained so called independence from black men and 70% of black are headed by black women.These women love to talk about how they are rulers because they give life and they are the first teachers but if you run the household and have problems with black men does'nt you mean you are'nt raising children right ?



      No More Negro Stuff !!!



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    11. #11
      Elisa Keisha's Avatar
      Elisa Keisha is offline Moderator

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      Quote Originally Posted by That_Untouchable_cat View Post
      Excuse me.. but honestly.. much of this sounds like garbage. no offense.

      and the only reason I react this way is because this stuff patterns itself almost exactly in the same manner of disgusting rhetoric black females all over across the globe are voiceing about their black male counterparts.

      From N. America, to S. America, to the Caribbeans, to the UK and now even in Africa.

      Usually I take the time to listen to people's unique perspective on issues with which they may deal with on a different level than what it may be in America.

      But ALL these coincidences going on in these mutliple countries concerning black males and females? Nuh-uh girlfriend. Sounds like the same old, same old parroted rhetoric.

      I see one too many black females caught up on their issue of their skin color in saving face for redeeming the SIGNIFICANT qualities within themselves that they DO lack.

      thus leading me to the conclusion tht this is simply just a crutch black women lean on whenever convenient. Very useful in disparaging the REAL issues that they have(such as the topic of black female attitude and their unwillingness to work with their men) in stamping THIS one over it.

      Now-- as I am not nigerian I cannot attest to what it is exactly that they go through with Nigerian women.

      However-- the "something is wrong with our men CRAZED and RABID over these no good mixed, light-skinned and white bxtches" has been said ONE TOO MANY times for me NOT to put the dots together.
      Its very clear you never had the chance to meet Isis Akkebala. I invite you togo to her profile and read other posts from her so you can get to know her and where she comes from. She hasnt been over here for a long while,but i remember her as one of the most man-loving ready to anything for her man woman in the forum.

      And im sure if she was here she would asnwer to your concerns in the most respectfull and loving way she could find.

      ---------- Post added at 01:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:57 PM ----------

      The only man that has responded to this thread was addressed back like this. Tell me if this is not loving-respectfull enough. Plus, i remember Isis always addressing men in this way.

      Quote Originally Posted by Goddess IsIs Akkebala View Post
      My Beloved, king god, Mighty warrior RebelAfrika: :cheers:

      MY Spirit honors your Spirit. :cheers:

      May your scent always be that of incense and Myrrh. May you always have the apperance of a gazelle, like a young stag on the mountains where spices grow. :cheers:

      I bow to your awesomeness.

      HILY

      Hoteph

      G-IsIs

      Elisa Marvena Nyarai




      SANKOFA Asociacin Cultural
      www.myspace.com/sankofacultura
      http://sankofacultura.blogspot.com


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      Assata Shakur Speaks is an Forum Devoted To Assata Shakur And All Political Prisoners Around The World.
      Assata Shakur Speaks Is An Oasis Of Pan African Information Geared Towards The Liberation Of Afrikan People.

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