My First Poem: "MY AFRIKAN QUEEN"

[JAYBLACK]

OKAY, THIS IS MY ABSOLUTE FIRST POEM ALTHOUGH I DO OCCASIONALLY RAP & WRITE MUSIC. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I HAD ON MY MIND AND DECIDED TO PUT ON PAPER, AND NOW THE INTERNET. I HOPE EVERYBODY ENJOYS THE POEM AND PLEASE LEAVE ME SOME FEEDBACK AND/OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. THIS POEM IS 100% MADE BY ME AND IF YOU SEE IT ANYWHERE JUST KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM, AND AGAIN THIS IS MY FIRST POEM SO TRY NOT TO BE TOO HARD ON ME...


My Afrikan Queen By J. Black


My Afrikan Queen, My Afrikan Queen,
She Bleaches Her Skin To Look European,
Blonde Hair & Green Eyes She Wont Look Like Me,
The Afrikan King That I Stride To Be....

My Afrikan Queen, My Afrikan Queen,
They Teach You Self Hatred While You Stare In Amazement,
Now My Afrikan Queens Are Changing Their Faces,
Noses & Chins, Cheeks & Eyes,
Wake Up Afrikan Queen Thier Tellin You Lies...

My Afrikan Queen, My Afrikan Queen,
I Can't Tell You How Much It Hurts Me To See,
You Degrading Yourself ON National TV...

My Afrikan Queen, My Afrikan Queen,
Please Wake Up Today And Hear This Plea...

My Afrikan Queen, My Afrikan Queen,
Without You There's No Me,
& Without Us There's We...


:::I JUST REALIZED THAT THE POEM IS UNFINISHED, I POSTED BEFORE I WENT THROUGH AND READ IT TO MAKE SURE IT MADE SENSE. SO I GUESS YOU CAN CONSIDER THIS A ROUGH DRAFT OF THE POEM. THE ONLY THAT NEED TO BE CHANGED IS THE LAST TWO SECTIONS, BUT OTHER THAN THAT ITS OK:::

[Pragmatic]

Peace brotha, welcome,and this ain't the first poem I dun read since up been up on these threads...

But if this came from your heart, and not for the bread, then you off to a very good start my friend.

Pragmatic

Peace be upon you

[Sourakhata]

Nice one for a first shot...!

[D.W. Joyce]

true in so many ways